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Issues With Setting Dates

redmanhuxley · 2019-01-20T03:41:57+00:00

I am horrible at setting dates with girls. Normally I would search TheRedPill archives for an answer, but you know I can't do that . Recently tried...

redmanhuxley

January 20, 2019

5 upvotes

/r/askTRP

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Post Information

Title	Issues With Setting Dates
Author	redmanhuxley
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	January 20, 2019 3:41 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ahtuiy/issues_with_setting_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/issues-with-setting-dates.170716 https://theredarchive.com/post/170716

Comments

[–]psikosen4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]redmanhuxley[S] 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]1rad_dynamic2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Trposh3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

If a girl really wants to meet up with you she will

Yup. Once you've asked enough women out, you'll have run the gamot of those who are interested and those who aren't. The ones who are interested will either make time or offer up several options. Those who are not will either dodge or be perpetually "busy."

Here are some real examples of both scenarios from my personal experience (please feel free to critique). All of these are matches from online dating apps.

Examples of high levels of interest

Example 1.1:

Me (on a Monday): Why don't we grab a drink sometime?

Her: Sure.

Me: Got any nights free this week?

Her: I can do tomorrow at 8, or Friday.

Me: Let's meet at such and such place tomorrow.

Her: Okay.

There are technically better ways I could have gone about this, such as by proposing a day and time from the get go, but she was highly interested in me anyway, so it was still easy for me to set the date.

On the first date I used light kino to build rapport and establish a sexual undertone. At the end of the date, I walked her back to her car and she put her number in my phone. She reached out to me a few days later to set the second date for Saturday, after which I brought her back to my place for a passionate and enthusiastic fuck.

Example 1.2:

Me (on a Sunday): Let's grab a drink after work on Tuesday.

Her: I have to work until 11 on Tuesday, but I can do Monday, Thursday, or Sunday.

Me: It seems our schedules are incompatible this week, but maybe we can find some time next week. I'll reach out to you later.

In this case, while she couldn't do the original night that I proposed, she basically gave me her entire schedule over the next week. Unfortunately, I wasn't available on any of those nights, and I've never had good results from setting the first date more than a week in advance, so instead I just left the door open for trying again down the road.

Examples of low levels of interest

For every one of these highly interested girls, there are five others who provide a vague response or no response at all to my attempts to set a date.

Example 2.1:

Me (Sunday/Monday): [I ask her if she's ever been to such and such place - she hasn't].

Me: They have an awesome bar - let's grab a drink there. Are you free tomorrow night?

Her (the next day): I am usually really busy during the week, but weekends work :)

Me (since she waited a whole day to respond to my initial proposal and Tuesday was out anyway, I waited two more days to get back to her): This weekend's a little busy for me, but I'd love to meet you for a drink if you're free on Sunday afternoon.

Her (a week-and-a-half later): Sorry, I was traveling and just checked this! How are you?

Me (waited three days this time, which was a Friday): I'm doing well. Why don't we grab a drink tonight? Are you free around 7? [she ghosts]

In this case, she clearly was not that interested, as she was perpetually "busy" and dodged my repeated attempts to set a date.

Example 2.2:

Me (on a Thursday): You seem pretty all right. We should have a drink sometime.

Her (two days later, on Saturday): Yeah, that sounds great.

Me: Great. Why don't we exchange numbers and then set something up?

Her: Great - mine's XXX-XXX-XXXX.

Me: [Texted her and made some more small talk about what we each did last night] I'll be out again tonight with hopes of catching the world junior championship of hockey (USA vs. Finland). If you're in the vicinity of downtown tonight, hit me up.

Her: Ah gotcha. I'm usually a giant bum after a night out. And definitely will, not sure what my plans are as of yet. [she does not hit me up]

Me (the following Tuesday): Hey Carrie, let's have a drink tomorrow evening if you're free. [never heard from her again]

Key Take Away

Re-reading my old texts, I'm cringing at how powerfully my beta tendencies continue to shine through in my texts - obviously I have lots of room for improvement (please feel free to offer suggestions on how I could have executed each scenario better) - but my point is the first two girls were enthusiastic about meeting with me and bent over backwards to make it easy on me, while the third and fourth were clearly not interested, or they were and then I killed it with my shitty texting game.

I used to try really hard to nail down those ambiguous ones until I read /u/mallardcove's post called "You're not her top option," which really helped tie my personal experiences together in a way that I could internalize. The TLDR is when she's interested, she'll make it really easy for you. If you have to twist her arm to get anywhere with her, then she's just not that into you.

Over time, you'll learn to recognize which girls are which, to the point that it will be glaringly obvious.

[–]redmanhuxley[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link