19 year old here. I just found out recently I had low T, and a little high estrogen so now Im getting that fixed, but otherwise I was a very emotional kid.

I always lost frame, with guys and girls, and whenever someone would insult, or try to out witty me, I would get angry, respond with insults, and when I got a little drunk would throw a huge tantrum(like a kid)

Some people recorded me throwing the tantrum...lets just say chilling with them, theyre my friends, and when they try to be funny and play the video back to me, man is it embarrassing. All I hear is me yelling and saying the dumbest stuff, and in that moment I thought I sounded/looked intimidating/right, but I actually sounded like a total idiot.

Now obviously I have a video that could haunt me for a long time which def taught me a lesson, but the respect of others I have lost have also been a lesson.

Not really a question but how do I go about starting again? I do lift, and I am on TRT now, so I dont feel like before, until my levels crash which I need to go get fixed, but how do I get respect again? Like I tried getting them to delete the video but nobody would, they said it was funny to them even though I pleaded(are they friends worth keeping?)

No matter how much I improve myself my past actions with alot of these guys will never make them see me in a better way now, should I just find new guys to chill with or?

Thanks