Hi trp. I'm 20 years old. Never had a real girlfriend. When I was younger I held onto things very tightly and wore my heart on my sleeve. Now I tend to be cold in my relationships with women. But I enjoy the warmth and charm they provide me.

I've been really lonely lately. I lost a few "plates". I'm down to only two. And I rarely see them. I play an instrument. I work. I have hobbies. Sometimes I need affection but I don't want to commit. I think out of fear. Learning to let go was a hard lesson for me and I think if I have to let go again I'd have to keep learning over and over and feeling that same pain.

I don't have many friends. Never really been able to make friends or keep them if I did make any at any point. I think it's because I'm vain. I've tried to be more compassionate and cater towards other instead of myself but it's difficult.

My question to you guys is this:

Will this pass? Will I always be "spinning plates" and have a few weeks or months of loneliness in between?