Long Distance Girlfriend

babydocnorman · 2015-07-30T03:39:11+00:00

If she's long distance, she's not your girlfriend.

thrway1312 · 2015-07-30T05:04:33+00:00

I'll share my advice from an open LDR: don't be invested. As soon as there's distance involved, she's no longer your girlfriend -- she's a FWB at best.

Sure you can chat every once in a while (anything more than twice weekly is obscene...in your case with such distance, twice monthly is probably better) and when she's in town you can shack up, but you have no control over a girl in a different town, let alone another country.

My advice is spin more local plates, begin to limit your communications with her and don't be afraid to make a clean break -- a year is a long time and your holding out is the antithesis of abundance mentality.

awayofthought · 2015-07-30T05:07:49+00:00

I know she loves me

No, she doesn't. Once you accept this fact, dating women will become much easier.

I wanted to open the relationship up during my time away... During the year she dated a few guys

This will not work. There will always be a question of "How many people did she/he sleep with while we were 'on break'?" You fucked up by wanting an open relationship, which is always the beginning of the end for any relationship.

I suggest nexting her and moving on to other women.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2015-07-30T06:08:35+00:00

See this is why I tell my plates they can be bang only me, or move on, while I do who and what I want. I avoid all this drama. And they don't get mentally fucked up over some other guy, etc. They're happier that way, their N count doesn't go up...and did I mention that I avoid all this drama?

I've told her that I won't compromise.

You already did when you asked for an 'open' relationship.

If she decides to see this other person, then she won't be able to see me again.

So everything was fine and dandy when you were getting some Asian strange, but she does what you gave her permission to do, and suddenly it's WRONG?

Any information or advice is welcome

In your next relationship--and there will be a NEXT one--don't agree to it being 'open'. That's where you went off the rails.

The-Ban-Hammer · 2015-07-30T13:46:25+00:00

Do LDRs ever work?

EtchyTWA · 2015-07-30T11:16:18+00:00

A year ago I moved to Korea to study

Beta. It leads or can lead to alpha, but learning from others is inherently subservient, while you are learning your SMV drops.

constantly exhibited devotion and loyal traits.

Huge red flag.

If you are engaging her emotionally, she should be on a rollercoaster - fights should be ferocious at first as she tries to get on top, then she'll subside and become your plaything for a bit and then the fights will resurge every now and then as the hamster wants to check for alpha.

Total observable devotion means she doesn't care all that much.

I wanted to open the relationship up during my time away.

I bet you didn't. I bet you her ASD did. She has you cold. Don't worry, it happens to everybody. Women are much, much, much better at this than you or almost any man are. They have to be. They are designed to be.

Apart from all the other things, 6 years is about the natural length of a stable relationship. If a couple has kids they do a re-evaluation around that time and re-arrange as needed to provide for the kids if they are semi decent parents or blow the family apart if they are self centred knobheads.

Final word - there is no such thing as a comitted long distance relationship pre-wall for a woman and you shouldn't be in a LTR until your 30's. GFTOW.

Title	Long Distance Girlfriend
Author	Y_Barouni
Upvotes	5
Comments	19
Date	July 30, 2015 3:06 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3f458s/long_distance_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/long-distance-girlfriend.151761 https://theredarchive.com/post/151761

Comments