LTR Advice

Microfuzz · 2014-09-23T21:21:09+00:00

/u/OccamsUsername has posted a series of awesome posts on TRP in LTRs. It's a whole different sort of frame that involves a delicate balance between alpha and beta traits. This is a good place to start but I encourage you to read the entire series, if you really care to.

Here's a great excerpt from that post:

There are two major reward centers women have to determine value in a relationship with a man, and these are in accordance with her needs. These centers work to ascertain which masculine behaviors constitute support and which constitute leadership. There are others not included here, but just a few examples:

Support: Affection, loyalty, empathy, generosity, material means.

Leadership: Assertiveness, courage, judgment, status, social means.

Leadership and support as concepts are similar to alpha and beta, respectively. When you take a look at what makes the overall best (socially constructive) types of leaders, it is not someone with purely alpha traits, it is someone with a good deal of traits from both leadership and support categories. Given the choice, every woman wants a strong man with a soft side, but the inverse is not nearly as attractive. This is a problem in our society as it stands today.

I've quoted that post before, but there's good reason. LTRs are TRP on hard mode and this series is truly spot on.

oscillynx · 2014-09-23T20:24:43+00:00

Once won't kill you, but repeatedly can.

Holding frame simply means not allowing external sources to pull you out of your frame of mind. For example, determined to have a good time at a party, but some bitch is pissed at you for some reason or another? Ignore her and continue having a good time.

stillnoturday · 2014-09-23T20:19:57+00:00

Yea don't do that the next time or ever. Who cares if she throws an attitude.

[deleted] · 2014-09-23T22:39:43+00:00

I dont want to be a dick nor do I want to be an emotional pussboy either.

That is the challenge.

A few nights ago I showed too much concern/annoyance toward her attitude, can I regain my composure or am I doomed?

No one's perfect, you're going to drop frame once in a while. It happens. Don't dwell on it (which is just continuing to lose frame) and if you catch yourself doing it take a deep breath and carry on as though you hadn't. As /u/oscillynx said, once won't kill you, it's when it becomes a habit that bad things happen.

Title	LTR Advice
Author	Fuckedup_since1993
Upvotes	0
Comments	6
Date	September 23, 2014 8:13 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2h9evv/ltr_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-advice.142359 https://theredarchive.com/post/142359

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