This is a rant/vent.

I met this this girl on tinder, ginger chick with a fat ass (HB7.5), met her a year ago when I was at my worst, homeless since I was just out of prison in July 4th 2018, had PTSD and all (working on therapy). I met her in mid july-beginning of august.

Of course, I told her none of this when we met.

I came over in a white shirt, black pants, a gucci belt and a rolex on my wrist.

Replicas. She didn't know this.

She was dressed in stockings, make up, everything, in my memory she was beautiful.

That day I took my anger out on her body and she fell in love with me. She went to see a gynecologist because of how hard I fucked her pussy, it literally ballooned, cause I was smacking it. She was bruised all over.

She invited me over every single day. And we fucked from dawn to dusk. She'd skip going to her job at starbucks to stay and fuck.

I was browsing tinder next to her in her own bed regularly and she knew I didn't give a fuck about her but she confessed later that she fell in love with me at about the 2-3 mo mark of seeing each other. She started telling me she loved me around then while I just stared at her. I didn't love her, I still don't. I had other things on my mind, like court and making my business successful.

So when we met she was massively submissive, would give me everything, fed me, housed me, begging for me to fuck every part of her body, everything. We'd go out all the time.

Around october, I'm a bodybuilder so I have access to this injectable solution that dissolves fat, and that made my body sore when I use it (I've since moved to something more effective), I told her to go easy that night when we were in bed, she lifted my shirt and she saw the injection sites and freaked out and asked if I was okay, I told her what was up and she understood. Ever since then I've felt open telling her things about my life, I regret this.

I was living in my office at the time, the office was gorgeous though, and she'd come over and chill with me sometimes. At one point I saw that she was really receptive to my business and I asked her if she could help me with some basic things while I was out meeting clients. I regret opening myself up to her.

At one point, around December 2019 she asked me if I was monogamous, I said sure. I had multiple plates. I didn't care about her, I still don't. By this time I was constantly walking out on her whenever we had arguments. She took me to her family gathering for Christmas 2019, they loved me.

Her roommate and her had a falling out around November/December 2018 cause I was at her house so often to fuck, so she moved out and found a place for herself in January 2019. At this point, my mentor gave me a software eng. position at his agency.

When she moved into this new place, we fucked there (it was empty) and she broke down crying cause she's been raped before and she has huge issues with her past stalker exes. She said she felt dirty since we fucked there. That was definitely a red flag.

I used to help her with groceries and stuff, we smoked weed, we fucked a lot but noticeably less than initially. Around this time my business was growing. I took up some courses at uni. She used to meet me after school and we'd go get some food. She knew I had friends and she knew I had my own life going on. She found a condom at one point, told her I used it to jerk off that's all. This girl is way too smart to believe this. She was constantly telling me that she was scared she'd get an STD off me, she was getting tested and stuff (came back negative).

She called me and told me she was going to see her brother tonight. I get a call later and she says "Please don't be angry". She actually did a suicide attempt instead. Felt lied to and I was pulled out entirely emotionally. But then I made her believe that I doubled down on my emotional investment and told her she'd be okay and I'm there for her (Massive, massive regret). I was sharing my thoughts with her about the future and stuff. Telling her about my feelings.

Around April 2019 is when my business really started growing but I had huge issues to work through and sometimes that seeped into the my attitude. It was my first business, I had no idea how to manage. I had to learn v quick and that was a v steep learning curve.

Sex was less than initially, we'd go out to restaurants. She would stop wearing stockings, she wouldn't put on makeup as much. She wanted to "make love" instead. Couldn't be rough with her, her asshole was having issues, and to this day even after all the medical attention and tests I still can't fuck her ass, it's got a medical issue. She always has some type of medical issue, whether it be that I broke her wrists from the hard fucking and holding her hands back, or she's got too much inflammation so she wants to go vegan, or lactose intolerant, she's always got some medical issue. And by this point she wasn't really hiding it, she wasn't taking the pain.

I said ok, I was fucking other girls (HB7 hippy, HB7 daddy kink and would let me do anything but we fell out cause of a pregnancy scare and HB9 I ghosted), she turned into a "reliable" fuck. Boring.

Summer passed, it was sort of boring. I was just coding all the time, making my business better and better. We'd get high and fuck. But it definitely was slow. She was working an office job that she hated by then. We'd start to argue more.

Then around September, we started arguing more and she told me that she doesn't like it when I walk out. So I tried to stop walking out. But then I had to sit there and be tortured with her fucking autism and try to not let it get to me. I've noticed that we argue more when I see less women, I had dumped most of my plates, I bet she could smell it.

Around October/November 2019, we were going out to brunch and doing stuff with her friends around this time, she started taking me seriously. We used to do a lot of arguing, it was very exhausting.

In November 2019, we had huge fights and since I didn't leave when we'd argue, I'd become evil. I was very emotionally destructive and told her I'm breaking up with her every other week. Around this time, I got back on tinder with some modelling pics, I'm matching with models, just trying to get out there again.

Our latest argument happened 3 weeks ago, she was telling me she regretted helping me so much when we met, she regretted not having boundaries, she regretted so much. She told me she was faking her orgasms when I fucked her. I left and we didn't text for a few days, then for 2 weeks. This girl is medically broken, I highly doubt she's seeing anybody else for sex. She told me she never cheated in any of her relationships, her last one was 3 years.

At one point she became receptive to the idea of me breaking up with her.

Then last week she came over and cried, I was worried she'd see the hairs of the girl I was fucking on the same couch just hours earlier.

I haven't kissed her in 3 weeks. When we text I keep it very sober, I don't like talking to her, I don't feel like she deserves my attention, I've since reinstalled tinder and I'm talking to multiple women that are much prettier than her and submissive like she was initially.

Yesterday, she called me twice, I let it go to voicemail. I text her "?". She says she needs to hear my voice cause she had food poisoning. I answer and tell her I'm busy. She texts me later saying "Next time tell me if you're busy, I'd rather not bother you, honestly".

As I type this she texts me this: Hey, I feel a bit hurt that you didn't even text me back to ask me how I am. I know you're busy but I'm super sick and I would like be comforted.

I think I'll ignore this text, as I've completely pulled out emotionally.

Edit: she's currently spamming me and calling non-stop