I’m 20 years old and a 9 month lurker, read the sidebar and red pill handbook this summer and joined a gym. One month later this exchange student (23 HB7) practically falls into my lap as we met through friends at a party and immediately hit it off, so I plated her. Great sex, and I felt like TRP king of the world because I thought I was really putting theory into practice and all (I guess everyone has this?). Fast forward to mid november and she tells me she is seeing someone else and we can’t do this anymore, I tell her “alright good luck” and leave (possible shit test, but not the point of this post).

Besides that I felt a bit butthurt for a few minutes because I thought I could hit it until she moves back in January I feel okay towards it. I have no feelings for this girl since she was pretty boring to be honest (maybe TRP anger phase only heard her narcissistic blabbering idk), just fun in bed.

However, what this ranting boils down to: I start feeling lonely, like I’m missing some intimacy with a girl, not this girl or any girl in particular. I know this is probably coming from deeper childhood issues with divorced parents and never seeing my dad, since I basically have had this everytime things broke off with a girl. Somehow I’ve managed to have two (pretty short term) girlfriends, two fuckbuddies (excluding this one) and a few ONS without really putting effort in at 20. The initial contact was always through mutual friends or on some houseparty. I feel I’m horrible at cold approaching and want to improve this. Thus, my question is this:

Should I first focus on being perfectly happy without women in my life and resolving this issue for myself, aka go monk? Every man has physical wants obviously, but I feel it is not healthy that I start feeling like I am not happy without that intimacy (which is some form of external validation) in my life. The other option is that I start actively work on my approaching and game now instead of just passively getting “lucky” with women and fulfill my needs/wants. I also feel like I am just procrastinating getting out of my comfort zone with women if I go monk for a few months now.

Any comments and advice are greatly appreciated.