Hi TRP,

I've read some of TRP and I know you guys are a little rough with each other but I'm a lady and I'm hurting so please be gentle!

My (26) now ex-boyfriend (31) left me about a week ago because "he likes himself less each day." He said that he was too content with me and had stopped challenging himself. An example he gave was that he had a few opportunities to speak to his boss that he passed up. Honestly I had also noticed him letting up on his goals. When I met him he was on a pretty strict keto diet, but that disappeared. He is an amateur fighter and his coach hasn't given him a fight in months because he hasn't been training hard enough and isn't in good enough shape.

He had dated a bunch, but I was his first real relationship and he basically said he wasn't made for it. I asked him if he expected to do back to dating casually and be said he planned on living like a monk for a while to get back to where he used to be.

For what it's worth I'm sure I was a great girlfriend and he loves me deeply. He seemed to really struggle with breaking up with me and has been upset since. From the what little I have heard since the breakup it does sound like he has been refocusing on his goals.

He definitely doesn't read your stuff but I would describe him, and our relationship as mostly RP. So to my questions: any idea of what I can expect? Do you think he will change his mind when he is ready? Is there anything I can do?

Alternatively, do you have any recommendations for what I can do to avoid this problem in the future? He said he knew that if he got soft I would still love him and that put less pressure on him. Which is true. He was less focused then when I met him but he was still the best man I had ever known, and my affection for him hadn't changed in the slightest. Should I be giving the impression that my love is more conditional with the next guy? :(

Thank you for reading.