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[–]leodoestheopposite 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She's trying to manipulate you through guilt.
Move out at once.
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know you are right. It is effective though. Not as effective now that I am aware of it though
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This is why you don't talk with women about what you're going to do. Once you've decided to next them they are no longer part of your life and are not due any consideration such as you sharing your plans with them. Just make your plans and then act upon them.
Her life and her kid's life are not your responsibility; only your life is. So go live it and make it the best one you can.
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I know you are right, but how do you shake the feeling you are letting people down? No promises were made, no marriage no engagements. I just dont get why I feel shitty doing this, or how not to feel shitty.
I know I cant control her victimization of herself. I honestly find that part of her laughable. I dont know basically is what I am doing (moving out) ok? its not my family and its not my responsibility to be miserable with them, but why is it so difficult to do this without feeling like a bad guy?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I dont know basically is what I am doing (moving out) ok?
It's absolutely OK. You don't owe this chick (or her spawn) anything.
but why is it so difficult to do this without feeling like a bad guy?
You've bought into the idea that what you want and need are "bad" and that what whatever woman in your life needs is "good". This is bullshit. You need to value yourself more than anyone else in your life (even an LTR/spouse or children) or you're just going to be taken advantage of.
The sooner you get out of this relationship the better off you're going to be.
after my divorce I heavily started prioritizing myself. I find that when I do that my confidence increases, I am more successful at work, I am in better shape and honestly besides the lack of sex, my quality of life is way better.
I think I was interested in pleasing a woman again because after the divorce I felt like I was unable to do so. This has led to the thinking you are mentioning. I need to buck up and do this.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know you are right, but how do you shake the feeling you are letting people down?
They would let you down. They would not care about you with even a friction of how much you care.
Picture yourself in her situation and imagine how much help you would receive.
[–]LS_D0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
but how do you shake the feeling you are letting people down? I just dont get why I feel shitty doing this, or how not to feel shitty.
but how do you shake the feeling you are letting people down?
I just dont get why I feel shitty doing this, or how not to feel shitty.
Bro, if you're unhappy, she'll be unhappy too; "misery loves company!*
by leaving you will be doing everyone the favor ,, in the long run
Once again KS speaks with a wise tongue!
[–]1AverageAsian691 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You know what you need to do, so I'll spare you that, but I understand that knowing and doing are completely different things. Guilt, shame, etc are sort of natural reactions in this kind of situation, but it really just means your self-respect and ability to think logically have been compromised. Think about that for a second. No amount of advice will guarantee a smooth transition, you may just need to dedicate some more time to yourself so you can be alone with your thoughts and improve yourself mentally or physically. It's not going to be easy, but you already know what you need to do, you just need to gather up the courage to do it.
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, sound advice. I feel like I have the courage, its the guilt of leaving these people to a life I would not want to live which bugs me. However I did not put them there. She likes to make me feel guilty of being successful when those successes are mine to be proud of. Thanks for the help
[–]1AverageAsian690 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is she deserving of such compassion? If the tables were turned and you were a broke single dad, would she take you in? If so, maybe she's worth it, if not, then it's probably easier to swallow.
She might. I do really like and care about her, I just feel like I am putting myself second, and when I talk about houses or cars, or moving for my job she gets upset. She might have a big heart, but she has no idea on how to plan ahead or how to live within her means, and I do not have the patience or the finances to teach someone how to do that again.
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[–]leodoestheopposite 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LS_D0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1AverageAsian691 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]1AverageAsian690 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lil_Dick_McFarts 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link