kick it off with a little backstory;

i have what ill proclaim as a LDP (long-distance plate) who ive met two times in my life. ive done some great job on this one (first REAL plate in my life), i met her at event first time, plated up by giving it good and being idgaf alpha god in her eyes. i travel to her to spend a weekend, she makes food, buys me everything, does everything in her fucking power to please me like a servant. the complimentary arrival gift i bring her rocked her world because apparently a validation from me was insane. she tries to wrap her head around why i even wanna fuck her. im too good for her. she shows me off to all her friends to show what a fucking stud i am, theyre amazed and she and all her friends are orbiting me like a solar system, my gravity is too strong to handle. she misses me, messaging me to please come back so i can fuck her again, cum on my everything, ill buy toys, lets try everything, bring your whip so you can fry my ass.

as far as im concerned me orbiting her is not an option, i cannot meet her on a daily basis, shes 700km away and she knows. she knows ill never be in a relationship with her. i know this too. though i can travel there whenever i want and fuck her for an entire weekend. im even demanding stuff for my arrival; "i want my dick sucked on arrival and a cold beer", shit like this and of course she says, everything for you.

now problem arise when she tells me she fucked a couple of other dudes. one after we met the first time and one after i travelled there the second time. i wasnt informed about this until a couple of days ago because she was afraid ill get mad and upset and she really didnt want to not seeing her again, but she felt really bad about this because "she wanted to wait for my sex" and shit but awalt obviously, "i have a problem saying no" and "after i met you i really dont want anyone else".

first off i knew all of this was coming to the point. after some trptraining it was too obvious. of course she gonna fuck a couple of guys. of course shes gonna tell me all these excuses. i read her like.. text.

rational me is saying to me "why the fuck do you care, bloke, shes nothing to you, you fuck her and have a nice time maybe once every other month thats it.". "awalt right, if i cant give her dick she gets dick somewhere else and apparently its not affecting our plateship at all".

but my fucking body doesnt listen. i get disgusted, mad, jealous, sad. i feel like shit. i give a shit. it feels like a physical response. i get sick, like i wanna puke. the way i felt when my ex cheated on me. im left confused. i have no clue whats going on. i think shes nice to spend time with, very nice to sleep with (shes REALLY good looking), and i like that she does whatever the fuck i tell her to.

in the moment i lost frame like a bitch. i told her i felt disgusted by her action, unrationally disgusted. fuck me. she apologized and was sorry and called me crying and begged me not to hate her (wat). responded rationally next day and put up frame again, tried to reclaim what little frame i had left. worked out perfectly.

im still disgusted. i still feel weird as shit. and now im asking if anyone knows what the hell this response is. i cannot plate a bitch when this happens. its happened before. its gonna happen next time. i wanna know if there is some trick to avoid this, something i can do to fix this that can help me right away. also i might be misintepreting this entirely. i dont know.

edit: weird sentence