Fell hard for my ex ltr and got into some BP habits. I lost control at the bar and did some time traveling and tried to jump out of her car I guess... Stopped traveling and ex broke up with me, I went into full no contact mode. She made attempts to text, email, call, FB message. I ignored. I felt I was ready to talk to her so after a missed call, I texted I'm busy. I'll call later.

I call her and..

H: you ignored me and cut me off completely

M: I needed time to think

H: Never asked for a bf back before, thought about you every day, needed to hear your voice. Do you feel the same?

M: yeah

H: Why haven't you reached out then it would show courage to do so.

M: I've been busy

H: Be real with me

M: Got a little real, told her a little about what she put me through and how I was dealing with it. So what's the purpose of this call?

H: I think it's pretty obvious why I wanted to talk to you (crying)

M: Spell it out for me

H: Things were going way to fast. I want to start over without all the pressure.

M: I'll take you back but if I do I expect it to be exclusive

H: ...

M: You have something to say?

H: Can I be real with you?

M: Of course

H: I am afraid I am running out of time and I won't find anyone (she's 28, I'm 29)

M: I'm not something to be settled on

H: You're being callous

M: No I'm not (Whoops...)

H: Yeah you are

M: Yeah I am being super duper callous

H: You are. You're not being the guy I know.

M: Did you know llamas can carry up to 100 pounds, I need to lose some weight so I can ride one (inside joke)

H: you're stupid (laughs through the crying a little)

H: I have worries about you being pouty as she cries

M: I had a bad week

H: Why don't you seem affected by this?

M: I am not going to let this take over my life, like I said I've been busy

H: Be the guy I know

M: I gotta go, I'll talk to you later

Wait 20 minutes call her back...

H: Calling back already?

M: Yeah, you caught me. I needed to tell you something.

H: What did you need to tell me? (She had told me she needed something to chase previously and that she needed a strong man)

M: I get it

H: What?

M: Everything

H: What are you talking about

M: Everything you told me

H: I can't have a pouty man

M: I told you I get it

M: Also, I want to tell you I care about you and want you in my life

H: What are you doing May 7th (She knows I'm out of town the next two weekends)

M: No plans yet

H: Let's go to a museum or the aquarium

M: We can go to the aquarium

H: Ok cool

M: Well.. I'm gonna let you go

H: I love you

M: love you too. bye. click.

This was last night. Today, I haven't talked to her. First, I want some feedback on the interaction. Second, how do I proceed from here?

First thought: Let the hamster do it's thing for a couple days before reaching out.

Second thought: Call back tonight and ask what she meant about starting over with all the pressure, to which she'll probably say keep it casual. Hang up then go dread level 8 on her ass this weekend with some pics on the gram.

Sorry for the long post, but need some third party perspective. I am interested in giving this girl a second chance and am kind of thankful for all this non-sense she has put me through because she has made me remember RP ways even though I seem to have puked up part of the pill as I was still working on swallowing it when I met this girl. Trying to swallow it again and get back to being right in the head. Learning point: It's never ok to stop RPing.

I am now willing to walk away if shit goes south again and reignited the passion to improve myself and do things for me. In process of getting CPA license, in order to further my career and going to start doing Muy Thai. Lift/run 2x a week and snowboard/long bike ride on the weekends seasonally appropriate.

Finally, I said we could go to the aquarium, but there is this exhibit at the art museum I have been wanting to see. Does changing my mind on something like that matter?