Negotiating attraction

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-05-17T10:48:01+00:00

You're not "negotiating attraction" you are establishing parameters, i.e. she operates in your frame or not at all.

319Skew · 2019-05-17T14:18:23+00:00

It's hard to hear but you can't negotiate attraction. That said, you can educate behaviour as long as it's not direct.

She's not stupid and can pick up on cues. If she's playing stupid it's just that her playing.

When I met this one girl she had high attraction to me and no matter what deal breaker I tried, she'd find an excuse :

Have a kid - I love kids

I'm growing a messy beard - I love beards

I love meat (she's vegetarian) - It's ok with me

I'm very sexual - That's ok. I'm flexible.

I'm not looking for anything - let's see where this goes

I'm older than you - I love older men

I am pretty broke - It's ok. I'll treat you

I like going to the gym - I'll join

She's blow up my phone, dress proactively and almost broke my belt trying to get my dick out when we were alone. Also sending me nudes and maturation on calls.

Ffwd loss of attraction the tune changed :

I'm looking for commitment

I can't make it because I've got a headache

I don't feel like fucking sometimes

That means she doesn't value me. If she values what she has, unless she's inept, will fight to keep me from going to someone else. I dropped that plate.

Now while you can't negotiate attraction, you can train behaviour. Never directly.

Love BJs? Watch a lot of blow job porn around her. Talk about how much you enjoy it. In the heat of the moment guide her head. If you have solid frame or SMV just tell her to do X.

Then when she does something right, talk about how amazing she felt, make a lot of noise, and do something she appreciates.

She doesn't like X. Pull back a bit. You have less time. You're not into it. You ever want to fuck a woman's perspective, become affectionate but non sexual and refuse all her advances (only in a monogamous LTR). Without the ability to seduce you with her body, a woman had literally nothing to offer you that you can't get elsewhere and she panics thinking you're about to leave or cheat (again have high SMV).

Onidramon · 2019-05-17T11:10:07+00:00

Fool’s errand. They take their feelings first and THEN build reality around that, no matter how much logic you try pouring into the mold. Even the smart girls. I might even say ESPECIALLY the smart girls, because they're even better at coming up with complex-sounding ways to rationalize poor decisions in hindsight. Personally I think that was one of the biggest weaknesses of Patrice O’Neal's philosophy. Too much fixation on trying to force the square block of logic into round, emotionally charged hamster wheel-shaped holes. Everything that he said made perfect sense to US, as men, but it all fell flat when arguing with women. He vastly underestimated the influence of his celebrity status on hypergamy and the raw power of the hamster to backwards rationalize any and everything that goes against common sense even while comprehending the consequences.

The more strong reasons you give her to do X or Y, the harder her hamster will spin later on to justify why she did the exact opposite in heat of the moment. Conserve your energy and just enjoy your turn

walawalawa · 2019-05-17T11:30:21+00:00

You're adopting a version of the "savior complex"...trying to mould her. She'll hate you for it in the long run.
You should be working on getting girls to QUALIFY themselves to you. This is one area of game that has been lost because most blogs no longer talk about this. Getting a girl to qualify herself means she's working to get your attention.

If you want a simple strategy to get her to change, just give her less attention. Watch how she responds.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-05-17T17:19:09+00:00

Waste of time.

Title	Negotiating attraction
Author	44361066
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	May 17, 2019 10:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bppibt/negotiating_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/negotiating-attraction.238703 https://theredarchive.com/post/238703

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