I've been around this community for a few years now. I'm not the type to whine or bitch. I've read the sidebar, I've read the books, I've put the basic tenets into practice. I've had my fun, learned plenty, fucked shit up, moved on etc. I never had any problems with the concepts or had an anger phase.

What I have a problem with seems to run deeper. I don't seem to possess a joy for much of anything and haven't for years. I used to enjoy a wide variety of shit: various sports, entertainment, socializing, traveling, gaming. I had a fire inside. I'm early into a fairly successful career, generally well liked. I put on a good face.

I've read self help books, gone to therapy, and sometimes I can get my shit on track. However, it always feels like a massive uphill battle. Like everyday is a war with this other side of me.

Anyway. Don't want to rant on, feelings aren't my thing. Not sure if this is depression or what, I just know I wasn't always this way. Thoughts?