Hey guys. I'm a newbie and this is my first post, but I'm kinda at my wits end here. First LTR ended 3.5 months ago. I drove it into the ground by basically living at her place, being beta, etc.

We started having sex when she was a senior in high school (now 20 and about to be a junior in college), and I was a sophomore in college (now 22 in grad school). And we started dating exclusively when she got to college. RIGHT before she came up to school (while she had been prepping me about getting into an LTR upon her arrival) she went and fucked a kid and then lied about it. She spent months buying me shit and doing all kinds of stuff for me when I found out and threatened to just cut her out for good.

She convinced me though and we start the LTR. 1.5 years go by, and things are great (went on vacation together, sex all the time, minimal fighting, etc) Middle of her second year of college though (6 months ago), and my spidey-senses start tingling and I find messages in her phone to her girlfriends about some kid in her class that she thinks is cute. I ask her about it and she starts hamstering really hard, admits that she deleted texts between the two, etc.

I had just finished my first semester of grad school, was super burnt out, and basically shrugged it off. Couple more months go by I get the "I need space and independence" speech, couple weeks after that and I get the dumping text. By this point I had kind of prepped myself for it though and went no contact immediately. Started lifting and fooling around w other girls. HUGE problem is, after almost 3 years of no condoms, I'm having trouble getting used to condoms.

She starts sending me emails/texts a few weeks after dumping me. Just checking in, asking to be friends (which I declined) etc. She asked to hang out at one point but when I told her to come over (to bang) she declined and wanted me to take her out to dinner (not happening).

Anyways, I went up to my college town for the 4th of July. I was out at a bar and she was there with some kid (different kid than the kid she was texting though) and they were kissing and all over each other. I actually picked up some random girl there and we were making out also. She sees this and comes up to me, touches me and wants to talk to me. I kinda snapped at her and she left crying. Next day I'm at a 4th of July party and I'm super drunk and someone tells me that she's been fucking the kid she was texting, and basically slutting it up since dumping me. Unfortunately I freaked out and texted/emailed her calling her a whore/threatening to leak her nudes/the whole 9 yards. Her brother actually texted me telling me to stop.

When I woke up yesterday I was so frustrated w myself for losing my cool I just blocked her/her friends&family on all social media/facebook/email everything. So yeah. I'm at that point finally where I definitely do not want her back, or anything to do with her, but the ONEitis is really, really bad. She's super hot, in the best sorority etc. But like I know we really aren't good together and she's not LTR quality.

If you guys could set me straight I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.