Ok so I have oneitis. Never thought she was perfect - what got me was our similar personalities/quirks. Final contact was around a year ago, (on fb) me wishing her well and saying goodbye after she rejected me.

I keep thinking of seeing her around, she gets the same bus sometimes. Naturally I try to avoid getting this too often. I ghost her, but I keep cycling between happy thoughts of moving on and the tease of "just wanting to say goodbye". Both are mood/thought cycles. I've so far managed to convince myself this (closure) is all I want and hell, it may be all I want from her, but anyhow it's playing with my mind and I know it's unhealthy.

There was no bitterness that I could detect, just the ambiguity of the situation now is what is getting at me: She's around, so my mind is telling me "it's possible". I can't just move place right now, and I'm quite lonely, so it's distracting me a lot. I'm excercising and reaching out to those I know, though the latter is a work in progress.

A brief psychological explaination and a new perspective would really help me here (keyword: ambiguity). I know what I need to do; just not quite how to do it, and I currently am feeling I'll regret not re-initiating contact. I doubt that feeling is healthy.

Thanks.

P.S. I ask a lot of questions and sometimes I don't understand things on face value (without explaination). Sry.