TL,DR: I’m insecure because i’m behind my peers and have not concretely entered my career path, and it inhibits my confidence with women and people in general. How to overcome?

Sup and buckle up, it’s a long one:

Preface: 30’s, good looking, good shape, 6ft, good personality. I can pull 7,8’s with relative ease. But the women I want (the 9, 10’s, who aren’t complete idiots, and actually have their lives in order) I feel like I can’t have, or more importantly i’m not personally ready for. And mainly, and frankly, it’s because my current economic/financial/career status.

I was a “late bloomer” and now am in my 30’s, living as broke student (no debt fyi) and trying to get into professional school (medical, dental, law). I just applied this year, and am still waiting for the word, but prospects are low. I hate the notion of having to spend another year suffering from this insecurity, and then hoping to be accepted once again.

Often the women I have dated, or met through dating apps, have ditched because they decided that my career goal or status was not tangible enough for them. For example, i’ve dated phd students, residents, mbas, and they all left me for reasons related to this. A resident told me, “I just got done with med school, and I don’t want to date someone who would just be starting...”

With initial meetings, I now dread the question, “what do you?” I’ll explain my goal, and current work (which is in research), and these 9/10’s, phd, grad students, prof students, will usually unmatch me when I reveal this.

I’ve also had numerous women that I had previously dated during the time I was completing my course requirements for professional school or in preparing to apply, “check in” with me later, looking for an update, to see if I had been accepted/started. They would push and beg to meet up, until as soon as I let them know that my status was still undecided or I was not yet in my program, boom, gone and ghosted. (It was both amusing, disheartening, disgusting.)

This leaves me feeling extremely insecure about myself to the point that I don’t feel confident enough to approach or date the quality women I feel “qualified” for. So I end dating/fucking mainly idiots and subpar women (which brings down my confidence because i’m “settling”.

I know if I just got accepted, my confidence would boom through the roof, and suddenly I’d be alpha in aspects of my life, i’d be in the top 10-20% that all women want.

Fellow dudes/late life bloomers, in similar or past experiences; how did you overcome an insecurity like this, or do I have to just have to bide my time until I do get into professional school?