Hey fellas,

This might be a little long-winded so if you read this and can offer any advice, I’ll greatly appreciate it, a lot. It’s also a throw-away account.

I got married (I understand now that that’s a bad move) in April of 2017. She had a two year old from another marriage, and then we had a baby girl in January of 2018.

When we met, I had 15 months left of Naval service. Having been attached to a submarine for three years at that point, all I ever did was basically work, drink, sleep. I hung out with my wife when I wasn’t standing overnight duty every four days or going underway or working 15 hour days.

All that meant I was desperately waiting to have a routine after I got out. I wanted to lift or do BJJ or something, and work and hang out with my family.

I’m a simple guy, I really am. I like working, and I’m a homebody. I genuinely do love spending time with my family, and all I wanted for myself is to lift or grapple or something and get in shape. She loves being a mommy and taking care of or home, as I think a good wife should.

She always says she’s supportive, but every time I go out to lift or do BJJ she says things like “come hommeee” or she complains that I’m never here (my gym sessions are MAX 2 hours, and that was only once).

I feel like I’m rotting away not being able to lift. I can’t just sit at home all day. I keep telling her I want to spend an hour or so after work M/W/F (she doesn’t work those days) to lift, that’s it. She work late Tuesdays and Thursdays and my shift begins at 6:30am and ends at 2:30pm so I’m always up super early, which means we don’t get too much time together, but still time.

Here’s what I’m getting at: is it wrong of me to want to hit the gym three days a week for an hour, maybe an hour and a half? Am I being selfish? I served my country, I take good care of my family, I never go out and party...I feel like my desire to lift is reasonable, but she keeps telling me she never gets to see me and that she supports what I want, but when I do that she never appreciates it. What should I do?

Thanks for any help you guys can give