Hi there,

[x-post from /r/amiugly]

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

A little background- I’m 21 years old, 5’8, 180 pound male, and about to graduate college. From ages 14-18 I attracted stares and attention from women everywhere I went. To be honest, I took it for granted- I was approached all the time, and it was easy. I was cocky and confident, and I think I was an alpha. At 18 I started suffering from severe depression due to some deaths around me – in addition, I subsequently started losing my hair and put on weight. Still, I had women around me, although the stares were certainly less, it was never a tremendous issue.

Last summer, I started lifting multiple times a week, and put on some real muscle. I also shaved my head and accepted that the baldness wouldn’t be going anyway anytime soon. However, I was still getting plenty of attention, until this past winter, when I stopped exercising and all my muscle turned into fat. I decided to stop living that way, and since January I’ve lost around 40 pounds. However, nowadays I am seeing no attention from women at all. I am not trying to sound petulant- it is just so mind boggling to me that nowadays I am seeing nothing at all.

What is happening? It’s gotten to the point where my confidence is at an all time low, so I am afraid of even approaching any women. I know this is an awful cycle, because no girls like guys with zero confidence. I've become beta.

What should I do? How do I get out of this cycle? What is the problem? I know women act differently during high school than the college/post-college years, and I know I need to adapt my skills and actions for adults. I've read a lot of the literature; I just am having trouble tangibly implementing it into my own life. Any input you can provide would be vastly appreciated. Thank you even reading this far RP.

Here is a photo album- be honest with how I can improve, even if that means tearing me to shreds.

https://imgur.com/a/WG7gT

Thank you.