I’m [23 m] she’s [24 f] I got this girl around work She was very attracted to me. Still is I met her when I was recovering from porn induced erectile dysfunction.

Tried but can’t have sex unless I’m to let myself heal for another 60-70 days. Knowing what was going to happen I made her a gf to get more experience. And as a training regime it helped me tremendously with how to talk to a girl, when to ignore to keep her momentarily interested.

I made her a gf out of obvious fear I don’t have the ability out the get go to make a FWB. We see each other 2 a week. Can’t afford to do anything but stuff outside under a blanket ( like her half naked sucking my half chub off or me fingering her)

I don’t have time for going out yet

Understanding- is red pill Not breaking down from the cold world like a blue pill guy wouldn’t I wake up at 5:30-6 to get to school

My schedule is school 7-1:10 School to work is 1:10-2.30 Work is 2:30-9:30 Not home until 10:30 I ride a bike everywhere

Train. Walking empty streets or bike. Too poor for car. In between time I’m taking care of my bed sick mother with diabetes and lupus. Helping her with my highs school brothers stuff

Dad doesn’t help with Uber unless it’s deadly or cruel not to. Never gives me any man advice even when I told him I need help figuring it out sometimes.

All this in mind. How do I break into the red pill lifestyle and get over the cold knot in my heart for what she’s doing to other guys. As well.

I don’t mine the reality of my situation it’s not like she’s mid to long term material

I don’t treat her like a gf, it’s a title for her head

Shes my first sexual interaction since adapting to the red pill.

My heart is having trouble adjusting to the disturbing reality

I just want to change my thinking and have fun.

With a tight schedule she’s the only learning resource I have.

I’m poor and in survival mode but with a social disability I had to start now.