So, yeah... I'm 35. I've had this issue forever and it sucks. We're talking a few pumps before I have to regroup... Or else. If I actually fuck the way I want to fuck, well... I'm done. For the longest time, the wife said she would rather I just fucked her hard and fast, no matter how long I lasted, and I was ready to oblige... But the truth is that I'd like to have a little more say when I lose it. It's hard to really get any sort of rhythm going - condoms or not - and I think it's kinda killing what could be a really great sex life. My wife is up for ANYTHING and after about five years of this she has finally voiced that it would be nice if I could last a few more minutes and actually be able to keep something going. I have been trying various things - taking care of her first, breathing technique, keeping my muscles loose, pregaming, whatever else... But no luck as of yet. On the other side of things, when I'm stressed out - once out of every ten times, say - I can't really stay hard. I'm posting here because you guys know how important it is to fuck her good. I fear that if I posted in r/sex I'd just get blackslapping support and encouragement to keep communicating with the wife, et cetera.

I'm thinking of talking to the urologist about this. I'm told that low-dose SSRIs like Lexapro can be effective. Since they can make those with normal sexual function have a hard time having an orgasm, I'm thinking maybe they could slow me down. I'm in the best physical shape I've ever been and I'd like to be able to really make it worth it sexually. Does anyone have any experience with this?