Presented with an interesting, yet questionable opportunity... Need advice.

1NV0K3R · 2016-11-15T17:39:33+00:00

I'm 28, beein dating a girl for 2 years.

She is wife material (loyal, feminine, low n-count), but a little clingy and sort of close minded when it comes to relationships.

I cheat on her consistently (not here to have a moral debate). Sure at first the paranoia and all that shit, but you have to remember, the whole point of TRP is to have the power to walk away.

So, do you want to hook up with a rando? Sure why not. Tinder is a thing. Can you deal with the psychological stress of cheating? Really only you can answer that.

OT, part of a response someone else made:

also feel a constant thread of paranoia. Any time your girlfriend or anyone else says something that vaguely alludes to your dilemma (e.g. "do you talk to other girls?" from your girlfriend, or "have you ever broken a promise?" from someone else), you'll immediately get a small rush of social claustrophobia and having to tread very carefully with your response and how much you give away. You'll always wonder if someone is going to find out and never feel 100% secure when you reflect on your life.

If you really feel any of this shit you don't have TRP internalized and you should figure your own shit out first.

anylegtypes · 2016-11-15T17:24:37+00:00

I don't know enough to discuss the odds of her finding out, etc., but remember this doesn't just affect your relationship.

Until the end of your life, every time someone even mentions cheating to you, or you read a news article about it, or - god forbid - a friend confides in you that their partner cheated and they're heartbroken... your mind will be drawn back to that one decision. You will feel an involuntary pang of guilt and immorality, and it will recur perhaps several times through the day as you dwell on it. No amount of rationality or utilitarianism (e.g. "it's okay because she didn't find out, so who was hurt?") will actually convince you that it was a good decision.

If it's anything like some immoral choices I've made in my own life, you may also feel a constant thread of paranoia. Any time your girlfriend or anyone else says something that vaguely alludes to your dilemma (e.g. "do you talk to other girls?" from your girlfriend, or "have you ever broken a promise?" from someone else), you'll immediately get a small rush of social claustrophobia and having to tread very carefully with your response and how much you give away. You'll always wonder if someone is going to find out and never feel 100% secure when you reflect on your life.

I don't know whether you will feel these things strongly and often, or barely and infrequently... but you will feel them, since your post indicates you're already questioning the decision. You're not emotionless. You will feel those things.

Is that worth the sex? Your call, man.

To be clear - I am not suggesting that cheating is immoral. (That's a separate issue.) I am suggesting that you will always feel it is immoral, deep down, and that negative feeling may bubble back up for the rest of your life. You decide if the trade-off / risk is worth it.

Alternatively, ask for a threesome or open relationship.

Docbear64 · 2016-11-15T17:06:22+00:00

I'm by several societal definitions a whore. It's a tricky issue because if you on't scratch the itch you will keep wondering what if and the nagging pressure / fantasy to do so will continue. If you do scratch the itch if your chick ever makes the " I love that we've always been loyal and honest with each other " statement it will probably fuck with you .

If it was me I would say fuck the rando but then again I don't do LTR's anymore for this reason I need the only person I am beholden to in my relationships to be me , myself, and I.

My biggest question abut this would be what is your age . I was in similar shoes to this between 17 and 23 and never cheated on my girl for those years in between , I also began to become a whore once 24 hit because we broke up and I was free to begin exploring sex with new people.

If you're young then fuck it I would say do it , but with the understanding that this decision may put your relationship in jeapordy and if you can accept the responsibility and reality of that then have fun . Otherwise know that sex is just that sex , A good connection is special but unfortunately it's next to impossible to appreciate a connection over sex until you've had enough sex with different people.

Edgeti · 2016-11-16T19:02:13+00:00

Be single. Get it out of your system. Settle down when you're ready.

Title	Presented with an interesting, yet questionable opportunity... Need advice.
Author	yungthrowawayOTC
Upvotes	1
Comments	16
Date	November 15, 2016 4:32 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5d3fio/presented_with_an_interesting_yet_questionable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/presented-with-an-interesting-yet-questionable.77630 https://theredarchive.com/post/77630

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