Might be more of just something to write out for myself to piece my thoughts I've been having together, but feel to respond.

So I know on here we talk about spinning plates in order to find a sense of abundance, an ability to conquer oneitis, and a myriad of related attachment issues. However, something that I have begun thinking about is down the road when I go about "connecting" with someone for an LTR, I recognize some lines of thought that I find contradictory and seek some clarification.

"She's not mine, it's just my turn" - How can I let myself organically build a meaningful (by this I mean something which I believe to be valuable and worth my time investment), relationship with a woman if I truly believe this? In my view relationships with women are finite no matter what, there is sadness and beauty to be found in them all, but doesn't this take away from my ability to really connect with someone if I am setting myself up for an inevitable come apart? Isn't what is exciting the unexpected; exploring how evolution of the relationship bring the couple to new experiences? It almost seems to me that TRP is nihilistic in the sense that these connections are artificial (oxytocin is a hell of a drug) and practical for my ends only, and that almost depresses me.

Is all of this just me being a romantic trying to rationalize a fairytale? I believe there is not a special snowflake out there for me, there are many women who I am compatible with, and whom I could be happy with. However this numbers game sort of sucks all the fun out of it for me.

Perhaps it is just really sinking in for me right now that i will never have a unicorn storybook relationship and it's tough to reckon with. I don't want to end up putting a woman I like on a pedestal and holding her to be special, but at the same time isn't that the fun part of why we're all here. To have fun attracting one another, courting, and building something together? Are these things compatible with what we talk about here?