Question about hypergamy

WhorehouseVet · 2017-05-29T00:52:57+00:00

Sure it makes logical sense for our species to thrive. The anger comes from our BP conditioning that women have the same sense of loyalty and integrity as men, and that society and the law always blame men for women's hypergamy tendency.

Metalageddon · 2017-05-29T00:59:25+00:00

Pretty simple. An excellent question with a simple answer, but a much more lengthy understanding.

Most anger is internal. People get angry because their expectations of the world don't match up to their own inbuilt narrative of what should be.

Such is the anger phase. For more detail, a repost:

tldr

Almost all anger is actually internally directed. I firmly believe this. If you're ever angry at anything, it's only at yourself, knowing this, don't let your anger allow you to be further controlled by external sources.

Core

Anger, fury, Impotent rage, translation (I'm angry at something, but don't realize or won't accept that something is me.)

You are always angry at yourself.

Maybe your lack of power, your lack of status, your lack of motivation, your lack of perseverance, your bad decision making, your lack of experience, your incorrect expectations, your inaccurate predictions, your inability to see signs, but it is always a measurement on YOU.

You have the ability to redirect your energy. If you are ever angry, it is simply proof of your failure in some way. That's why anger hurts, and is also cathartic. Any externally focused anger is an illusion, YOU'RE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE PLACED IN SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE'S WORLD, YOU ARE LETTING YOURSELF BE CONTROLLED BY IT.

Simply put, you can't stop anger, but you can take responsibility and focus that anger towards addressing the root of the cause. Yourself, your preparations (didn't study hard enough?), your failure (didn't plan well enough?), your effort (didn't give it your all?), your weakness (didn't lift smart and hard?), your vulnerability (didn't assess risk and reward? Didn't build a safety net?)

Exceptions

Obviously there are some. There is a difference between standard anger and what I'd call righteous anger or just anger.

These are few times you're truly not in control at all. Fate has a hard-on for you that day and fucks you raw dog in a cesspit with a razor. Before you attempt to attribute that to many things, all yourself the following.

1) could i have noticed signs this would happen?

2) could i have reacted better with the information i had at the time?

3) could i turn this into something positive by channeling my reaction differently?

If all three of those are no, then you should be angry. That doesn't mean you wallow in your anger, you take your knock and move on as best you can. You know what's out of your control? Finding out you're genetically sterile. Finding out you have an inherited disease. Finding out you're significant other died in a plane crash. Watching your battle brothers get lifted by an IED and picking up their scraps for identification.

Yeah those suck, you'll also notice they're extream. You could also have an auto malfunction in a brand new car, you could fuck up your spine for life slipping on the stairs, but notice those are statistically unlikely.

Working WITH anger

As stated before, you can't really stop anger, few can. However what you do with that immense amount of burning fuel is COMPLETELY on YOU.

You can channel it to harm, self or other, or benefit, for yourself or others. Choose yourself, create the benefit. I had a kitten once, only once, raised him from the runt to being a badass little warrior. Only listened to me, obeyed like my (current) Dobermans, smart as fuck. When my girl at the time left for the military I let her parents keep it while I looked for a place that allowed pets.

Found out later it'd been drowned. No real way to prove it, but it fits the bill and got a vague admission. I was livid. They hadn't even called to ask if I could take it back.

I could've easily gotten her father and mother both fired for things I knew about that family. Could've had their oldest son locked up too. The evidence was there (physically and recorded) and incontestable. So I did the silly thing, I consulted my red as fuck father, and worked at a rescue shelter for a summer instead. Son, death is a part of life. It's about time you learned the value of that. You and I both know it's your fault that kitten is dead. You abandoned him there. You don't buy a living creature if you can't care for it.

I put every ounce of my being into finding pets homes. Learned a shit ton about training, about reading people based on how they treat lesser creatures, met two plates, banged a few others, and learned to deal with death instead. (Kill shelters exist for a very rational reason sorry guys).

At home I threw myself into my new business plan, took a few online classes, doubled my lifting, stoic'd the fuck up, upgraded apartments, applied for college, just to get out. (This was the last string in a line of frustrations of mine, all my fault).

And you know what? I'm not angry anymore. I haven't felt angry in a decade. I feel passion, disgust, and annoyance, and pity, but never anger. I should never have left that kitten with her family, even temporarily, it was my fault. I'm accessory before and after the fact.

And I'm much better for it.

Lessons learned

You're only angry at yourself.

You are the agent of change. Choose to let externals rule you, or don't.

There are exceptions, your circumstance probably isn't one.

Channel that white hot fuel, use it before it burns out, you'll find yourself miles from where you were if you do so, (hopefully for better if you're smart about it).

Let go. The past is for ghosts, the future for dreamers, and there present is what you control right fucking now.

Cock_Klepto · 2017-05-29T01:09:33+00:00

From observation, to me it looks like it could be an expression of feelings of betrayal. When you enter any portion of your life where it feels like the past years have been a lie it's hard to do that passively. Plus it's easy for TRP to become a place to vent, so people do.

I agree that it's human nature. When you strip everything down and look at any other animal, they pair for success of their offspring. Whether it's males fighting or whatnot it's all survival of the fittest. I'm not sure that a lot of people like to admit that. Humans are generally kind of arrogant in that regard.

raisins3142 · 2017-05-29T01:16:37+00:00

Where it hurts men is when girls on their own SMV level are not interested in them or date them and treat them poorly. Also, it hurts men when they think they are in a committed relationship and they find out their SO is shopping around or leaves the second what appears a better option shows up.

I don't think anyone is that mad over women wanting the "best" man they can get. It is the treachery and also the unrealistic expectations that bother people, I think.

marone76 · 2017-05-29T02:41:28+00:00

"Isn't this just the same for a man to want the most attractive female he can get? It's nature. We all want the best we can get."

Because men earn it and women feel entitled to it.

Weak men have undercut strong men so much that the market is in free-fall to the point where there is no value in relationships anymore.

Title	Question about hypergamy
Author	guest1101
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	May 29, 2017 12:41 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6dx8dc/question_about_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/question-about-hypergamy.91788 https://theredarchive.com/post/91788

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