Realised something while reading No More Mr. Nice Guy

NFNRP · 2014-11-09T23:33:02+00:00

Yes. There's one friend, T, who I used to consider one of my best friends but is not anymore. We roomed together in university, had some good times. He always seemed kinda depressed or angry. When I was a nice guy I tried to cheer him up, be a good friend. Well, for at least two years that happened over and over, until I realized I was getting nothing back. Called him out on it but he acted like he had no idea what was going on. I've since stopped trying to reach out to him.

Some people are just takers in life, and Nice Guys get sucked right into that because they see themselves as givers and helpers. It takes time and patience to see which male friends really give a shit about you and which ones don't.

leftajar · 2014-11-10T01:41:21+00:00

Yes.

One of the best things you can start doing for yourself, to reclaim your masculinity:

Make neutral, not nice, your default behavior towards others.

Not rapport giving. Not rapport-seeking. But rapport-keeping.

Try that out for a bit.

wickedwildewolf · 2014-11-09T23:11:04+00:00

Sure. Being a "nice guy" isn't only about male-female dynamics.

strategos_autokrator · 2014-11-10T09:20:01+00:00

I do the same.

We are trying to get a subreddit going to discuss this book. Check out /r/NMMNG

the_number_2 · 2014-11-10T18:22:31+00:00

Take from everyone equally what you give to them, male or female. People will like you more if you ask of them instead of simply giving to them, too. It makes them feel like they are someone you trust and respect.

Title	Realised something while reading No More Mr. Nice Guy
Author	moveon4ever
Upvotes	11
Comments	9
Date	November 9, 2014 10:43 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2lswce/realised_something_while_reading_no_more_mr_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/realised-something-while-reading-no-more-mr-nice.143539 https://theredarchive.com/post/143539

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