Recommend some advice/books on curing oneitis

_thechinaman_ · 2019-02-07T06:27:14+00:00

https://www.google.com/search?q=berenstain+bears+kick+in+the+dick&client=ms-android-sprint-us&prmd=visn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjPoqHT_qjgAhXLyFQKHUf9CgYQ_AUoAnoECAwQAg&biw=360&bih=512&dpr=2#imgrc=eV4FV9KGiOknZM

mrmaldoror · 2019-02-07T06:39:19+00:00

Just think of her when you bat off for fun.

And fuck lots of chick.

heres_johnnie · 2019-02-07T12:58:54+00:00

I think a major cause of oneitis, particularly if it comes in the early stages of meeting a woman, is due to idealisation and lack of abundance.

Perhaps you're lonely so you meet a woman and think she'll cure your loneliness, or you just lack an abundant mentality, and therefore you paint her out to be someone she isn't, in the hopes that she's going to fill some gaping void.

Make her prove her worth to you before you become emotionally invested. Quit thinking about her all the time. It takes a while before you know someone for who they truly are. Take them off the pedestal.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-02-07T07:14:44+00:00

It's a knee-jerk response about fears of abandonment by your mother figure. It's a hold-back from being a toddler.

You respond to this fear by indulging in various learned helplessness and learned frustration -type behaviors. This is in the hope that mother figure will swoop in and change your shitty diaper or pick up the toy you dropped from your high chair. This may feel like "idealized happy ever after" type shit, but it's actually dysfunctional garbage and amounts to duct taping yourself to the wall for attention.

That's perhaps understandable, but your mother figure is gone, you're an adult, and let's face it, your actual mom was kind of a neurotic impatient self-absorbed bitch to you as a kid. I'm not saying she was a bad person, but the fact that you're having existential fears about attachment says she would never have won any awards for mom of the year.

Stop acting helpless.

Title	Recommend some advice/books on curing oneitis
Author	D0perman
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	February 7, 2019 5:58 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ao0nx5/recommend_some_advicebooks_on_curing_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/recommend-some-advicebooks-on-curing-oneitis.217491 https://theredarchive.com/post/217491

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