Recover from bad reputation

savagedealer · 2016-11-23T18:20:52+00:00

Depends what was said ... also for future reference to anyone reading this don't do stupid shit at work especially in an office setting people smile in your face but whisper secrets in the dark always .

orilyrily · 2016-11-23T19:29:51+00:00

You are going to have to provide more detail than that if you want more specific advice.

mugsaucecity · 2016-11-23T19:31:49+00:00

I think keep frame and ignore it. People believe their instincts over words I think.

hannlbaI · 2016-11-23T22:59:48+00:00

You didn't really provide an example or more information of what the rumour was, so I'll give you a pretty broad answer. Unfortunately, reputations are one of those things that only time can fix. There are, in reality, three approaches you can take.

If you attempt to stand up and desperately tell everyone the rumour is wrong or false, you'll just appear like you're trying to cover it up. It'll make it funnier for everyone else, and you'll get no where. Even if people truly believe that it is false, they'll play along with it because it is more enjoyable for them to believe it is real. People, often leading boring lives, crave gossip. They'll turn anything they can find into it. The only time this technique should be used is if you are already part of 'the group'. If these are your friends who are being told the rumour, and they support you, then go up to them and tell them. If they truly are your friend, then chances are they'll believe you.

The second option is to play along with it. If someone accuses you of doing whatever the rumour purports you to be doing, jokingly agree with it. Laugh along with them and joke about yourself. This shows that you accept the rumour, and subconsciously places yourself inside their 'group' of others who spread the rumour as well. Once you have people laughing with you, and not at you, you can begin to slowly change the rumour, or dissolve it.

Finally, you can ignore it. Don't take part (both negatively or positively) with their remarks. This has a benefit, and a repercussion. The benefit is the rumour will eventually die down when they see it has no effect on you. If you fail to take part in their games, and fail to even respond to the rumour itself, people will begin to lose interest in it, or begin to believe it may not be true after all if it doesn't bother you. Either way, time will eventually stop it and things will go back to normal. The repercussion is that people may believe that the reason you are quiet is because you are upset over it. That can display two things, weakness and or guilt. What silence can also do is serve to distance you from the rest of your colleagues as well. This results in you becoming an outcast, even after the rumour has ceased.

Personally, I'd go with a mix of the first and second approaches. I'd use the first approach in talking to close colleagues and friends; people who I know would rather not believe the rumour at all. I'd then use the second technique with people who I am not close with, or who do not really affect me. In this way, I maintain trust and a close relationship with my close friends, without any doubt due to a rumour, and I maintain a friendly and outward persona with others who may attempt to illicit a response from me.

Title	Recover from bad reputation
Author	meowsero
Upvotes	0
Comments	4
Date	November 23, 2016 5:48 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5eim3l/recover_from_bad_reputation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/recover-from-bad-reputation.78036 https://theredarchive.com/post/78036

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