Hi all - started to embrace the redpill hard this year. Still have a ways to go and would appreciate the group’s perspective on the below - focused on how to grow from this experience / what to do next time. Thanks for having a look and your thoughts.

In summary, met a girl through a friend. We went on two dates and hit it off. She came to my place on the 2nd date, we were making out, and she showed a few signs of strong attraction (staying over till 3, telling me she found me very attractive, feeling me up, complimenting my hobbies, etc). She wouldn’t go any further physically.

She started to question if I was a player and did one night stands, to which I played it cool and agreed and amplified. Apparently she thought I was being literal (I later heard from her friend) which made her cautious and skeptical of me.

Asked her to hang again after and she started to act differently - by setting the terms/location of the hang out, limiting it to group activities, etc. I admit, I had started to get attached to her / think about her a lot and it was starting to impact my behavior - overtexting, overinvesting, and most likely coming off as needy. I was not playing my typical game and worried about what she wanted, etc. I didn’t maintain frame and agreed to meet under her conditions over food with a group event planned after.

At the end of dinner, she gave a bunch of reasons (she was leaving the city soon for business school, wasn’t a good time for her, hadn’t dated in a while, felt a lot of pressure, etc) for why she wanted to end it then and just be friends. It sounded like a bunch of BS to me.

I told her it was disappointing, I was not interested in friendship, and confessed that I genuinely enjoyed hanging out with her and also really liked her / felt we had a connection. I wasn’t sure if this was the right move - on one hand, I felt I was making myself fully vulnerable for the rejection, and on the other hand I regret saying that as I feel like that came from a place of neediness.

She also recently broke up and came out of a serious LTR.

So in summary, here is where I think I fucked up. Let me know if there is anything else.

  1. Getting attached
  2. Losing frame and agreeing to meet under her terms
  3. Putting her needs above mine
  4. Admitting my feelings for her after she rejected me; this did make me feel the full brunt of the rejection as I made myself fully vulnerable, but I feel like it came from neediness and a girl who rejects you doesn’t deserve this
  5. At the end of dinner, she was on her phone texting while I waited. Instead of waiting, should have just said “I’m going to leave” and left on my own terms. I felt like a huge chump waiting around (even though it was 30 seconds). It just seemed like I was trying to be that nice guy - and I hate that feeling
  6. I would have preferred her to tell me over text than waste my time in person. I didn’t say that to her as I didn’t want to be a dick - should I have?
  7. She was still suggesting some interest in her texts prior to meet up. I wanted to call her out on that but didn’t. Would this have been acceptable? Point being she should be called out for their poor and misleading behavior

Is the simple answer to not give a fuck and say/ do whatever I feel like next time?

To an extent none of this matters as I will not see her again. But I feel I could have been more alpha after getting the rejection, rather than weak.

Would love to get the group’s thoughts here on the above. Am continuing to lift and spin other plates, I just got attached this one unfortunately. Thanks.