Hello gentleman. I'm 31, married, one son, one daughter on the way. Career firefighter for last 8 years, own a gym with 100+ members. Not making a ton of money but my family and I live quite comfortably. With my wife I believe I have always held an "alpha" position with her. She met me when I was a bouncer and was dating me long before I had a steady career and was as goal oriented as I am now. I love her, love our life we have built together. We both agree with almost everything I have seen from this sub. (still learning). My problem does not lie with my relationship with my wife but in my relationship with others. At the end of the day when I reflect, I see that I have been the aggressor in almost all situations. I'm always looking to get a quick jab at almost anyone. I enjoy the laughs at that instance but by the end of the day when I replay the event I see myself as insecure so that's why I react the way I do. I admire the stoic approach and what is described here as "frame". Is it just practice or are there tools I can use to not be the "quick witted clown" I see myself as? I'm 6ft, 210lb, strong defined physique. Even posing in a firefighter calendar that may go national in June. Physically I believe that I am I'm the higher percentile. I don't want to come off conceited, but with the body of a wolf, why do I bark like a chihuahua when confronted?! Nothing serious, just playful bull shitting amongst other firefighters and my team makes at my gym. I want to be stoic! Help please?