One girl still has me fucked up. It’s been almost 6 or so months since it ended but because I allowed myself to be so in love with this girl and the way she fucked my friends after we broke up combined with constant porn use has caused me to get all fucked up. I tried to do the spinning plates thing. I got more sex and I felt pretty great about that. My behavior changed and now that I fear commitment I am much more likely to not want to get past FWB level. I do not want to let girls past.

My porn habits have shifted. after the bad breakup with the girl and her fucking all my friends has caused me to revisit that trauma through porn. Although now I have more options and I’m sleeping with more girls I still go and watch cuck porn and make myself feel those emotions when I found out she was fucking my friends. I don’t know what to do because this is really haunting me.