I have lurked this sub for about a year and read the sidebar, even the part that says no posts from new users. I'm not new but I'm not posting under my normal user. I ask that this is not removed due to that fact.

Here's my deal.

About a year ago I ended a LTR as things were falling apart, no sex, no conversations, no nothing. Instead of talking about our shit we both shut down and I just said screw this. I ended it with some less than honest reasons about our lives going different directions but honestly it was because I was getting no sex and she was a nightmare to be around plus she gained a lot of weight and didn't seem to care. We lived together for a year and over the 5 years we were together she slowly gained weight and became less and less interested in me. Looking back I feel that my less than fully RP attitude fueled this behavior.

After it ended I started fucking a bunch of pretty hot girls and really enjoying life again. I will say that I'm in good shape, always have been but have really stepped it up in the last two years (including the last year of LTR). I don't lift but I'm an endurance athlete and it gets the body in equally attractive condition. Part of me feels that the ex was a bit jeleous of my increased activity. I tried involving her but she always took it as if I was just finding a clever way to call her fat, in a sense she was right. I was getting better so why wouldn't she want to? Back to my story...

After making my way through some new ladies I slowly gravitated to one. As it turned from fwb to slight gf status I told my self I wasnt going to allow this one to get out of hand in the event we actually clicked for a longer period of time. I wasn't committing to another LTR but was content with her. I started it off really RP, setting boundaries, what's acceptable behavior and just making sure that it was clear that I steer my own ship. She reacted well and she still does. She's definately not wife material though. Honestly the ex was until things went off course. This got me thinking, why didn't I apply this behavior to the ex to fix things? We had a good thing and I bailed basically because I was unattracted and not getting laid. At the start she had a good body and we had tons of fun but things just slowly changed. Again, maybe if I had took more control it would have stayed good?

So what I'm asking is would it be a good idea to go back to the ex, tell her I dropped the ball a bit ending things and maybe we should talk about shit? If I do this it will not be the same as it was, I will make this clear and control the situation. Tell her I want more sex and tell her that if I had more sexual access she would have more emotional access. Also I could make a better effort to slowly do more active stuff with her instead of teller her to go do stuff on her own, I'm sure she would appreciate my company and doing things together. Another thing that makes me think I should re initiate is that we have stayed in touch a bit and I know that after she got over me ditching her she started going back to the gym a lot and getting in better shape, obviously to attract a new guy. Maybe she requires somebody with my new mindset to keep her on this path. It could have been my lack of control that allowed her to slide in the first place and by the time I caught on she was to far gone?

I would appreciate some solid feedback here. If this is the wrong place to post please let me know so I can copy all this text elsewhere. It sure feels good to get this out there though!