For those who have had to rebuild a confidence and self esteem from the ground up, who have deeply entrenched insecurities from childhood, can anyone relate to how big of a struggle it can be to get ahead of day to day? Even with swallowing the pill?

I am someone who has had no troubles attracting plenty of good looking women, but I continue to deal with the crippling effects of bullying and being picked on, dismissed, not given enough attention, .etc as a child. I have done quite a.. major.. 180 from my youth and put up quite a wall to eliminate dealing with all bullshit but the after effects haunt me, sometimes to the point of being detected by plates/women/men and being abandoned.

I am a creative type, never been huge into sports .etc (uncoordinated as hell, not a lot of interest. I sometimes hate that that is who I am, but) but I have grown to use it to my advantage (always had a style people envy over or commented on, smell good, creative paths (music production), computer science & engineering major, attractive "aesthetic" and social media presence .etc). I really try and own it. But I sometimes struggle relating well with other men despite realizing it is fundamentally a requirement and my duty as what will be a father or potential husband some day. I lift weights and casually will run here and there, trying to do that more.

I have worked tirelessly to improve and still do dismiss it but it still haunts me and follows me around. The little things like accepting myself or my voice in a camera, eye contact with other people, walking around University campuses, interacting with other men at times. I truly have an underdog complex engrained deeply in me.

Any tips to continue dominating the remnants of childhood social traumas that continue to claw at you after changing your life as you got older?