I've gained weight, muscles are fuller, hitting 210lb bench PR at 155 but I still feel small and look small even though people around me notice a different.

I literally lift my lady friend like she is a feather (she is 5'7 150lb) yet I feel like I'm not making progress.

Is it my perspective of myself? Am I insecure?

Look guys, I don't mean to be dark and I'm over it. But when I was a kid, my babysitter (female) forced me to perform oral on her. Could this be a factor?

I'm aware this sub is for pickup strategy, but I have no friends to talk to about this shit.