Hi,

I'm having problems with my close group of male friends, we're all mid twenties. As with every group we have a certain dynamic going on. We've been a group for about 10 years having known eachother as teenagers.

I think it's worthwhile to describe my situation to understand why the current dynamics are causing me issues now.

I suffered depression and anxiety for a long period since I was maybe 13+ and went untreated (nobody ever questioned this, everyone assumed it was just my personality). Let's not get into the details or make it a sob story, by 23 in terms of being a man I was pathetic, I was less than a boy. I struggled in social situations and that is being kind to me. Reckon I went probably through university without ever starting a conversation with any stranger other than when completely necessary.

My friends weren't the coolest guys but did develop in university and got with girls and occasionally went to clubs. I'd say I partied 5 times over the 4 years and made 0 new friends. My friends were relatively normal. I understood nothing about social dynamics or game at this point and was just happy to have a group of friends to meet sometimes. I was also utterly blue pill.

After graduating and getting a job and independence I realised how bad I fucked up and started addressing this, forcing myself into social environments, getting counselling, lifting, researching the good stuff (like theredpill) and awkwardly improving with women.

I dated a couple of girls all of a sudden (the first girl for 3 months, until she cheated and broke my little heart- this actually helped a lot). The first time I kissed a girl I was 24. Unfortunately my game was crap, I was still a bit anxious, needy and depressed. I paid a prostitute so I didn't reach 25 a virgin. That was arguably one of the best things I did, the mental pressure was gone, I was not going to die I kissless virgin.

All the work I was doing had really started paying dividends. I now was finding dating easier, my neediness was gone. Within weeks of losing my virginity I was dating a girl, we had sex a lot and she wanted a relationship with me. After 4 months I broke up with her. Soon I started spinning plates like this. Within a year I've dated girls from around the globe and had different types of sexual relationships with 6 of them. That was a remarkable turnaround even though I can't call myself the ultimate pussy slayer.

My social skills have jumped up to being above average. I've gone from omega to mid-upper beta. I have a good understanding of social dynamics. I look better (lifting + fashion + body language)

This is where things get tricky. My friends don't seem to like this. They are mostly upper betas too now. Things that I didn't think twice about before I now recognise as signs of disrespect. They have gotten so used to treating me as the omega of the group and they don't seem particularly impressed with my development over the past 2 years.

So this is the question, what value are they providing me?

Well maybe once a month we party and do cool stuff. But I am not respected. If I am talking to a girl they will sneer, stare and laugh. I hate to admit this, but they seem to be the only group of people with real social power over me nowadays. In fact I never have any success with women around these guys. I wouldn't class them as bros at all though there is a certain bond there. The day after partying with these guys I don't remember it being fun, I tend to remember the various slights I had been afforded.

But it's also fair to ask what value am I providing them? Have I been so focused on gaining confidence that I have not thought about the value I've brought to these guys? I think it is fair to say that. I rarely initiate and while I do get involved in the fun I am not a leader with them. Perhaps subconsciously I feel locked in the omega role?

This changes elsewhere. For example I was at a houseparty a few weeks ago with my housemate. I took charge of what drinking games we were playing and showed interest and fun in everyone around. I was attracting a lot of interest from different girls and I really enjoyed myself.

The problems I face if I cut my friends off is that my colleagues are all in LTRs and a bit older. My housemate is female. There doesn't seem to be other options.

One option I have long considered is moving abroad, but regardless of that I need to develop a method of dealing with my friends in the interim.

Option 1) Start providing more value whilst starting to devalue you them by seeking other social outlets. Attempt to lessen the mental power they have over me.

Option 2) Drop my friends due to crap role they expect me to fulfil.

Option 3) Wait it out until I move abroad (within 12 months hopefully)

Any help, experiences or advice are appreciated.