soft nexting and covert contracts

FightForYourWay · 2021-01-17T01:23:32+00:00

You have to tell them what they’re doing wrong. Why does that make you feel weak? Sounds like you have deeper personal issues that you need to resolve.

I tell girls off all the time, they love it because weak men (vast majority) like you don’t have the balls to do it. I actually kinda get off on it.

If you can go through 10 plates a month, that are high quality women, why don’t you anyway? Thats a new girl every 3 days. How is it possible you even care?

2021-01-17T01:29:26+00:00

I've gotten into this habit of never telling a woman what she does wrong, just soft-nexting and withdrawing attention hoping she "gets it"

You're 2/3 right here.

Yes, you shouldn't tell her what she does wrong since girls don't respond to overt communication.

Yes, you should soft-next if she doesn't meet your standards.

No, you should not expect her to "get it". This makes it a covert contract. You're operating within her frame if your actions are done solely to provoke a response. If she's not meeting your standards you drop her because there's other girls in line that will happily meet your standards.

idontmiind · 2021-01-17T04:24:17+00:00

Looks like you've locked yourself into an image of holding frame and what you should or shoudnt do. Spare yourself your terminator self image and just do what you feel like. Youll instinctively calibrate after a few times. No need to stick to rules that arent giving results

benhurensohn · 2021-01-17T06:06:11+00:00

You can just say things like "I don't want you to be late", or even better "I want you to be on time". It's simple expression of needs as advocated by NMMNG.

Always start with "I (don't) want" and mention the issue that affects you. Girls might get back at you with things like "so what if I am late again", but they really start to build respect for you for expressing and going after your needs.

AutoModerator · 2021-01-17T01:02:13+00:00

Please Post Your Question to Forums.red/i/askTRP

Browse our tribes and forums, or create your own today on https://www.trp.red free!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

howthecookiecrumble · 2021-01-17T17:39:17+00:00

I don’t think there is a solution to this. I have the same problem. It’s pretty exhausting. That’s because as men, we communicate overtly, and women communicate covertly, which is such a more roundabout way of doing it, at least to us. It’s not our natural way of communicating, but as you’ve identified, it’s the only way to not be a guy who doesn’t get women, both in the literal and understand sense of the word “get”.

Think of it this way. You’re setting up a covert contract with yourself when you have expectations of them. Your expectations are the problem.

The other and easier solution is to strengthen your soft next game. Experiment. If 1 week isn’t working, try 2. If that’s not working, try 3, and so on. My best soft next was 6 months lol, and after that she was eating out of my hand for an year and a half.

Title	soft nexting and covert contracts
Author	poundtheory
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	January 17, 2021 1:02 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/kyvstz/soft_nexting_and_covert_contracts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/soft-nexting-and-covert-contracts.739255 https://theredarchive.com/post/739255

Comments

Please Post Your Question to Forums.red/i/askTRP