I've been feeling low for a long time and depression often comes up in conversation with my therapist. Over the last few weeks things have blown up. I can't stay awake and I have no energy plus I'm bummed out because I'm resting a shoulder injury so my arms that were just beginning to swell are softening. But any way that is a tangent. It's got the point now where everything is a chore even my hobbies. I like to box and I've only been 3 times in the past three weeks. The weird part is the fact my feelings and emotions that lead me to consider suicide aren't as strong like maybe im numb. I just found out that my best friend dosnt want me at his house party. I'm not a bad guy or anything I'm just not very cool so fuck him. The trouble is that has set me off when I thought maybe I'm strong enough to just soldier on and distract myself and of course get back to my training. I've slept a terrifying amount over the last few days. And I always get sad and fall asleep in the day. Today I woke up with a slight hangover admittedly. I had been round someone's house and fell asleep for two hours. I got home and woke up in my clothes in my own bed. I woke up but since then I have been to sleep twice after becoming particularly miserable about this that and the other. I spend 75% to 80% of my day thinking about how lonely I am because by all technical terms I am an incel. Oh and yesterday I was asleep most of the afternoon as well. I know I must get back into a more regular schedule with my therapy but how does a red pill man deal with depression and mental illnesses in general just out of interest?
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