I've gone past the oneitis I had for a girl. I no longer daydream about me and her in idealistic situations. I went distant. But what has come, it's much worse than oneitis.

Somehow, even though we rarely interact anymore, (she's part of my group of friends)I feel she knows I am obsessing over her. Why is that?

Not because I had oneitis for her. Shes 18, the level of social independence that girl has, I never had at her age. I'm in my mid twenties and only recently i got to be like that. I'm a little jealous of that. She's more dilligent than any other girl in the group, also the youngest. I do envy her. Pretty sure she's riding the cc.

I don't want to get with her anymore. I just feel she knows I am obsessed over her, probably sees me as a chump, and this belief drives me nuts.

Maybe my perception is distorted, but I just want closure, waiting for a moment when she would offer something,real or fake, and me turning my back.

I don't know if it makes any sense, sorry, English is my third language.