I am going to start this off by saying I found trp about 2 years ago and fully internalized it about a year ago and Ive spun plates, been alone, had an ltr, made new friends, lifted like fuck.

But, as I have gained way more confidence and self respect, I also feel like a fucking sorry loser for having to go on reddit to figure out how to get laid. Since reddit is seen as a place where "nerdy losers with no friends" hang out as some of my new higher value friends have said(they don't know about trp or that I use reddit).I have to admit though, I really had no friends when I found trp and was the most beta, raised by a single mom type dude. I can't shake this feeling of being a complete fake. Like this personality I have developed feels like it isn't really me deep down.

Like sometimes when Im trying to fall asleep this whole idea from above will pop in my head and ill reflect on this for a while and some part of me from deep down will try to convince me that Im just living a lie and that what Im doing isn't what I should be doing. Ill think im being different in a bad way and that I am becoming a sociopath or some shit. I know this probably just the last bit of blue pilled beta within me, but I feel as if my personality is fake and everyone can sense I am an imposter just putting on an act.

I guess its just that old self who is sitting in his room playing video games all day and telling girls how good id treat them while still getting zero play from girls.

Anyone relate?

I guess a better question would be, for the veteran trp members, how do I get past this "my life and entire personality is a lie" thought? Do most of you go through this?