I am a 23 year old virgin. I have been trying on and off for 4 years trying to talk to girls talking with them, etc. I am extremely socially awkward and cannot carry a conversation. I am an extremely anxious person as well, so I only speak from my upper throat so I sound like a nasally teenager. My upbringing was damaging from a relationship standpoint (parents "stayed together" for the kids and it was toxic as fuck) My brother and I were scolded for trivial things, i.e. not bringing our clothes down in time. We received little to no praise growing up and were damned for things that were trivial. For example when I made the basketball team in 7th grade and my brother did not, I was reprimanded for making it and wasn't allowed to talk about it to not make my brother feel bad. I could go on and on.

My brother and I are messes. He is up in Boston with a decent paying job, but he has awful posture and has no social life and isn't in shape. He is a 24 year old virgin and I don't see him getting anywhere in that department anytime soon. I feel so bad for him. He actually introduced me to the redpill back in 2013 but he isn't on board with it anymore.

As for me, I am all in on the redpill as of September, and since then I have turned some things around. For the first time in my life I went to appointments even though I was petrified. I got the first job of my life.

But two main issues plague me, I have no social life either. I have an extremely difficult time making friends and maintaining relationships. Before every text I send I get extremely nervous (even to a guy, wtf is wrong with me) when I see a girl I can't even get my words out. I feel so far behind everyone and any girl I am with senses the inexperience. At work, I literally cannot have a conversation with anybody, I never contribute. This has gone on for years of me being a social outcast. I have mild anterior pelvic tilt and forward head posture that I am actively trying to fix as well, I exercise now 6 days a week and follow a rigid posture routine.

That is mostly background information, but this is what I am getting to. I work Mon - Fri and lift, that is it. On the weekends I scheme of ways that I can improve myself and plan out my future. I still play some video games to. I did some introspection and realized that one thing that is plaguing me is the fact that I am a virgin. So I did some research and bit the bullet and tried out seekingarrangement. I realized that I am one of the youngest people on there. During the last few days, I have spent some time messaging with college students and girls in my area and we talked about having a mutually beneficial relationship. Most of them are on board with the idea of helping them financially for a fwb. Now I don't make a ton of money, but a lot of the girls I have talked with and the amounts we discussed are fine with my budget. I have gotten about 10 numbers and am openingly discussing schedules with them now. (Obv. wont be hanging out with all 10 just need to see what is out there)

Here is what I am thinking. Have two girls that I can see on and off for maybe 10 days a month just so I don't have to masturbate. Literally they will be so for the first time in my life I don't have to nut with my hand. In the meantime I will be working on myself, building my career and lifting and meditating. I kind of want to use this experience as a segue into my future. Kind of want to get the monkey off my back that I am a virgin so I can approach relationships more confidentially.

I know this was long, but I want to know what you guys think of this.