Thinking about going out solo, any tips?

sjswander94 · 2019-11-17T01:30:31+00:00

Here’s my 2 cents. Sitting home will accomplish zero for your game. Going out alone is tough it’ll build character. It’s going to force you to rely on yourself. I don’t go out lone wolf, thinking about doing it makes me nervous. That reason alone is enough to do it. It’s not ideal but what’s better trying and failing or sitting home not taking action. Worst case scenario your having a bad night and drive home.

2019-11-17T02:02:57+00:00

why dont you move to bigger city?

Kobinks · 2019-11-16T23:24:30+00:00

So you want to drive 30 minutes to the city and spend the night in a bar sober alone...

Here's my tip... don't.

DxbLoveForLife · 2019-11-17T05:36:25+00:00

Lol man, if you think going out alone is weird or makes you look like a loser, then you will look like a loser.

If you go out alone and are secure and confident, you will look normal (because it's normal) and then you can be yourself and possibly come across opportunities to network with others.

Or you can stay at home like an actual loser and never progress.

But of course, context and situation matters, there are some places where I actually think it's stupid to go alone, like a restaurant (especially those vibrant ones), or club. People go there in groups and it's not ideal to try to approach others in such a situation. But if its more like a relaxed bar/lounge setting, or a pool/beach, something along those lines - sure go for it.

The biggest thing to keep in mind is that you're going out to enjoy yourself, not to look for a date/friend/whatever. That should come naturally and not spend time obsessing about it where it'll inevitably make you display undesirable body language and vibes that'll actually come off as weird. For example think of a guy at a lounge sitting by himself, well-dressed/groomed, and displaying good body language, occupying himself with something while remaining open and approachable, that'll naturally make him look good and others would approach him if the opportunity is there, or if he approaches others then it'll be more likely to be taken in a good way. Meanwhile you also have guys that go out to a bar alone and are just acting super weird, they'll try to go up to a girl or even a group of guys (that's usually what their so fixated about the whole night and life) and the way they do it is just super cringe that the people might either just run the other way or maybe talk to them out of pity but never really want to actually develop a relationship with them..

But yea, you're right and I feel you, I'm the same age as you and dealt with the same issue, exactly. I grew up in a super cool city and then went to university abroad somewhere that sucks (but not too bad, only if you compare the 2 places relatively). I ended up barely having a life in either of the places and so I'd go out alone when I'm back home pretty often and actually find it very easy and smooth to get to meet others. A lot of times people will also be out alone so you can just network easily. But yea it usually doesn't result in a meaningful relationship or friendship, but don't obsess over that like I said. Just see where it goes and go to enjoy. It's not something you do like going out to get groceries and you just do 1,2,3 and get it for sure. You simply do it over a period of time and eventually get there.

Edit: I didn't answer your question at the end so here, I gotta say that what you're looking for is something pretty hard to do. You need to get "social value" or whatever the term is, if you want to get to the things you're after. That's only done by positioning yourself in a certain point that others want to be around you and you have something of value, so consider working on yourself first and then those will come easily after. Most big cities like you said are expensive and the nightlife scene tends to be filled with certain types of people and things, so as a 22 year old it's a bit unrealistic to just magically drop into there and be the VIP guy who has girls waiting for him at the booths and guys blowing up his phone for events. If you know what I'm trying to say, so for the time being work on being the best you can, go out of your comfort zone, and eventually you will get where you want to be if you stay consistent.

AmIDyslexicStoner419 · 2019-11-17T08:04:36+00:00

Prime of your life at 22? Really?

Title	Thinking about going out solo, any tips?
Author	AuberyBitoni
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	November 16, 2019 11:20 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dxehea/thinking_about_going_out_solo_any_tips/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/thinking-about-going-out-solo-any-tips.295510 https://theredarchive.com/post/295510

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