Normally when I date people on Tinder, I usually take it about 3–5 dates in before ending things. i have a busy school/work schedule and don't have time to get committed into a LTR. I also give them full disclosure upfront about this, which has backfired in the past as I've had some people continue to pursue me months after I had called things off.

About a month ago however, I matched with somebody I found particularly interesting. Without getting into all the detail and making it unnecessarily longer than needed, a strong chemistry developed between the two of us in a very short time. By date two we had sex, and again on date three. It was some of the best sex that I've had in my life, and I've had around 30 partners. I felt that we genuinely enjoyed each other's company, both on the physical and mental side of things.

There were a few problems, however: she had stated on her Tinder profile that she had recently gotten out of a LTR (10 years) and was looking for some fun. I also realized after reading The Rational Male (after this catastrophe occurred) that I was actually exuding alpha qualities of confidence and cockiness during our first two dates, and probably the reason why she found me so attractive in the first place. I took things in a carefree way.

But i also made mistakes over time: I developed feelings for her once we had sex and began hinting on how I normally dated one person at a time. Although she acknowledged how much she also liked me and wasn't expecting to meet someone like myself so soon after getting out of her LTR, she did imply on wanting to keep things non-exclusive between us.

Fast-forward to after our last date (the third one): She had been going back and forth about us getting together on Valentine's Day, as it had more of an exclusive implication for her. I tried rationalizing that I wanted to use the occasion as an excuse to meet for dinner in the middle of the week. When dropping her off for the last time before Valentine's Day, which was only a few days away, I asked her again if she wanted to join me for dinner then and she enthusiastically agreed. I mentioned to her because it was in the middle of the week that I may possibly need to adjust our meetup time, but that I was planning on meeting her regardless.

A few days later, still before Valentine's Day, she texted to ask me if we were still on for dinner. That confused me because I felt that we had already confirmed plans for it. Then, she continued to explain how she had been invited to do something else, but that I was her first pick. That threw me even more into a state of confusion, to which I replied with a phone call in order to clarify things, and then followed up with several texts going hot and cold about the idea, where I eventually called things off as something wasn't sitting right to me about it. I sensed that she may have wanted to back out of the idea.

She repeatedly explained by text that she was simply confused and wasn't trying to have our plans canceled. On the following morning, while still in a state of anger and confusion, I texted to ask her whether that other thing she had been invited to go do was with somebody else that she was seeing. I feel that things went more downhill from there, as she responded by saying that it was with "a friend" and reinforcing her stance on wanting to keep things non-exclusive between us.

I reiterated the fact that I normally dated just one person at a time (again, before having delved into The Rational Male) and also probably sounded tense and lacking confidence when we speak by phone shortly after. She also did something else during that conversation which I perceived to be a power play on her part, by telling me how she wanted to pull back on the sex; instead of presenting it as a mutual agreement that we could have both agreed to slowing down. When I asked her why, she simply stated that it was too addictive doing it with me, i.e. that it was messing with her head? We ended that phone conversation with a sense of things not having gotten fully resolved prior to agreeing on a break as well. She was having a girlfriend from out of town visiting that weekend, so I assumed that we would meet up again on the following week (this week).

It was shortly after this that I ordered Tomassi's book—not for PUA techniques as much as I needed guidance on honing in on my masculinity.

Some background on me: I lost my father when I was five; he was murdered. I grew up in a household of three strong women (two sisters and a mom), with no male role model for guidance. Through the self-help literature that I've read, i believe that I developed an emasculated paradigm for myself early on, where I tended to suppress my masculine qualities. In fact, I've had past girlfriends tell me when we would argue that it was as if they were the guy and I was the girl. That makes sense to me, as I probably base a lot of my mannerisms through what I saw my mom and sisters do in certain situations.

Back to this person I was dating: A few days after we left things unresolved during that phone call, I decided to send her a text to apologize about having confused things between us, and that I should have simply confirmed our plans for Valentine's Day when she had messaged me about it. She responded a few hours later telling me that it was okay, and that we probably should have had that discussion. She also said that she would reach out to me on the following week so that we can meet up (this week), but it's been almost a week now since her text and I'm beginning to sense that she's either ghosting me, or that she's preoccupied herself with other, less-complicated love interests.

I would like to ask the community here for their opinion regarding this story that I've shared, and also any advice you would have for me both in terms of personal growth and as a means of seeking resolution for this situation that I've put myself in with her. After reading the Tomassi book, I'm fully onboard with the non-exclusive, plate-spinning ideology; however, I also don't want to confirm this to her as she may interpret it as me attempting to appease her needs and thereby making myself more undesirable to her. Another scenario I'm entertaining is that she may reach out at some point to offer the LJBF olive branch, to which I'll obviously reject and walk away with what's left of my pride.

With those scenarios entertained, if she were to come back to me eventually and maybe try things out one more time, what would be the best way to pick things back up and also subscribe my newfound dating mindset without her becoming suspicious of my authenticity?