Nobody likes being around a whiney bitch, but it seems to me that the vast majority of all conversation consists of people complaining or talking shit, usually to a receptive person who agrees with them and provides validation. I’d like to eliminate complaining and talking shit altogether, but am finding it harder than expected, especially when speaking with a like-minded ally about someone else whom we both hate. Anyone have any tips on how to better catch yourself? Yesterday when I saw my sister calling, I reminded myself not to gossip or complain right before I answered the phone, but once we started talking, I unloaded about other family members, etc. . . . I tend to have decent discipline in most ways, but this feels like firmware that I’m having a tough time over-writing. Far easier to implement with someone new, but with people whom I’ve commiserated with for my whole life, it’s more difficult. It almost feels like I didn’t actually connect with my sister if I don’t talk shit because that’s what we’ve always done (and in our family, there is plenty to talk about).

The only thing I can think of is to focus on myself and improvement and to do/read interesting things so that I have other positive things on tap to share instead. But I wanted to ask the community if any of you have experienced this or had any tips on how to overcome this annoying bad habit.