I’ve basically broken the main rules of trp before I found out about it. To keep it short: started working in a small town out of college (love my job) at the same time a girl my age did. Small company approx. 20 people mostly older. Kind of standoffish at first but about 6 months in we started hanging out a lot. Not the most attractive girl 6/10 looks but 10/10 personality. Too scared to make a move so I got friend zoned. Small town with mostly married people and retired people outside of the rednecks that grew up a town over. Hung out for a while and really fell for this girl. I did the beta thing of becoming needy and pushed her away after a while. Realized this and fixed it and we became friends again. Fell right back into the trap and got drunk a few times and did some stupid stuff that messed everything up again. We’ve become friends again now but not nearly as close as we were before. I’ve realized I need to just separate myself but I’m struggling really hard.

I’ve started lifting hard, meditating, reading, and getting out to do things as much as possible. I have friends in nearby towns I visit often but during the week is when it gets me. A new guy at work started full time from part time recently. They’ve started hanging out a lot at work the way we used to. Her office is right beside mine so I hear them constantly. She’ll come into my office to chat pretty often still but we don’t hang out outside of work all the time like before. We have a group at work that goes out once a week that has been on and off lately but when I go she’s there. Every time I think I’m fine I get in her vicinity and shatter my frame.

I fell into a bad depression earlier because of this and it has caused me to feel like I’m losing my mind. I’ve seemed help and am on medication but the therapy did not seem to work for me. Ive gone monk mode and felt like it really helped but as soon as I see her I break. I’ve noticed significant progress in every aspect of my life from lifting, gaining education, finances and success with other women. I can’t seem to shake her though. I can’t sleep at night if everything didn’t go perfect between us the day before. If I ever make first contact with her ( I know I shouldn’t but convince myself to from time to time) I get extremely nervous. If I see her talking with other guys or ignoring me it kills me. I don’t make a scene and act normal but it’s killing me inside. I don’t want to quit my job because I really enjoy it but it’s destroying me mentally and emotionally to deal with this every day. I’ve done everything I can think of and everything this thread has suggested but I can’t get the abundance mentality to sink. I need some advice on how to move on because I’m finding it impossible right now.