Validating yourself

Docbear64 · 2016-11-16T02:22:47+00:00

Reading No More Mr. Nice Guy helped me with this a ton . It has an entire chapter dedicated to embracing yourself I know as a " nice guy" I had it in my head that I was piece of shit who lucked himself into a college degree, a decent profession , a solid career . No one , I repeat NO ONE is THAT lucky . There has to be some value there already

I had an absolutely horrible case of imposter syndrome amplified by living and dying on the validation provided b others. I can't recommend the book enough ( and I recommend it a LOT)

SexySmexxy · 2016-11-16T04:13:58+00:00

The best way to remove the need for validation;

Is to find validation.

Psychologically it's very important to feel external validation.

But I dont think it's something you need chronically. Find where you want validation and achieve it. Or look within yourself as to why you don't actually need it.

TheInkerman · 2016-11-16T02:14:07+00:00

Find your 'mission'.

It's what helped me. I also am especially sensitive to external validation, although I don't think I necessarily go seeking it or 'crave' it.

Your mission in life should be something substantial you want to achieve for good reasons, not just 'because'; it is something you want to do/want to get done because you value it. It should also be something reasonably specific. You create internal validation by working towards that goal, because the closer you are to your achieving your mission, the more 'value' you have created for yourself according to your own internal metric. It should also not really be something like 'get X job' (unless you're talking about the Presidency), but rather some broader 'lifestyle' you can work toward reaching and maintaining.

Knowing your mission can obviously also help you direct and guide other areas of your life.

Title	Validating yourself
Author	tripsteady
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	November 15, 2016 11:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5d5r1v/validating_yourself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/validating-yourself.77649 https://theredarchive.com/post/77649

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