I just turned 20 and I am working on improving myself atm thanks to trp, lookism and a German equivalent to trp. I have been lurking for some time now, have gone through several anger phases already and thought that's it. But just some days ago it hit me HARD that I completely wasted my teen years. I have let social anxiety and depression cripple me, I isolated myself from the outside world for years and now I have this feeling of nothingness inside me. My childhood was very nice, but I don't have any teenage experiences and never will. There is just nothing, I don't even remember anything specifically because all I did was go to school and then lay in bed all day watching mediocre tv shows or escaping reality through vidya. Now I feel this constant pain similar to loneliness.

I know I should just focus on the present and future and not on what can't be changed. This realization will also be a lesson for the future to never get lazy again and to not let social anxiety control my life anymore, but it is so fucking hard to cope with this feeling right now.

I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest and maybe there are some people here who have had similar issues and could tell me how they dealt with them?