Hey guys, recently, I took a mushroom trip that changed my life. I saw everything as constant and ever expanding. The trip was supposed to be me in my room, but it didn't feel right so instead of sleeping and wasting my time, I ended up going outside, started organizing for a big party, and getting all my contacts ready like a business man. I was pea cocking and didn't give a fuck, like a big ass movement that if you weren't part of, you were missing out; I felt like a celebrity in my own town. My buddy was asking for hoes and I literally went out of my way and found some to invite to the party and they loved and matched my energy in the moment. Every second, intelligence was captured and used.

Now back to the old me, I ended up not following through and seeing the beta version of myself. Every second, there's doubt and insecurity, literally my mind says "you're a beta, that's all you are." and "you're the biggest loser don't ever think you can match any guy." My mind says that and it ruins my confidence because when my friends ask me something I come from a place of pure beta energy and literally just stay quiet and show no emotion. I'm always tired and can't come through most places or times my friends invite me out, like there's so much activity going on that it's hard for me to catch up and I forget about my purpose and fall apart. Girls feel weirded out and leave me, I ruin moments, and I just give a creep energy that no one really likes. My mind is weak, and I can't ever enjoy the present moment or go beyond myself.

My question How is this paradigm changed? How can I go from literally the mindset of a 23 year old kid who has nothing going on for him b/c of his life situation to a rockstar that has ambition and plans? Like it's night and day... most times I'm not in that high energy, smooth motherfucker that makes moves mode, I'm in this suburban, takes life for granted and every moment is dull mode. I noticed that with weed I turn into a dissociative, beta m'f so I'm stopping and gaining my discipline back, I just need some advice so I never go back to this state and stop being this way because too much goes by and I'm just missing out on easy wins because of myself.