So... I'm fairly redpill, I've been outwardly redpill for a number of years now (started before I found trp, then trp put it into words for me), but I have some very non redpill tenancies; particularly, sexually.

So wtf do I do? I like being submissive, especially in bed. I enjoy the thought of having a woman in control, yet with my last LTR I noticed the relationship failing whenever she had power in the bedroom for a few times in a row. However when I didn't coax her into it, I didn't enjoy sex anywhere near as much. I love being dominated, I love being submissive, all of that stuff.

So; what do I do? Am I meant to ignore my submissive tendancies to keep the girl I want? Or am I meant to still be able to lead even when she has the knowledge that she "has me by the balls" in the bedroom (if so, HOW)??

This goes on to the catch 22 which has been mentioned a few times here: I should do what I want to be alpha, yet I want to be beta in this particular thing.

Any ideas???