Hey there,

I swallowed the pill recently and it has some kind of side effects on my LDR.

Long story short, I have been in a LDR with this girl whom I only kissed and nothing sexual between us. I was only back then when I was still a bluepilled agreeing on sex only after marriage with this girl.

Thing is I think I developed oneitis for far too long and I will be too sentimental. I agreed to marry her next December when we see each other again. At least sign the paper the real wedding is due later. All of that is planned before I swallowed TRP.

Since then, I fucked another girl only last week. The first time, sex was good but the second time was really dull. She barely participate during sex and I thought I was fucking a dead sheep. I put out a story of wanting to wait till her period cuz I was at her place and the condoms were also at hers. I went silent on her. She asked me last Saturday if I was available to fuck and I replied I was busy. She asked again yesterday to see if it’s ok and I said I am busy with family. She asked if she should ask me for it again. I didn’t respond. I have nearly to no physical attraction towards her and she seems to be too into me which I really don’t want to. Soft or just hard next ?

Next thing is, I went out with another girl, this time with physical attraction, on Friday and Saturday. First date was ok, made her smile, she ordered beer but I keep my frame of not drinking so I ordered a coffee. A little bit of kino here and there and when I tried to kiss but she refused. No biggies. Next date was good with way more kino but still no kiss I did isolate and escalate but still no. I tried inviting myself to cook for diner she refused and told me one of her friends is coming (shit test). I didn’t pressure and went home. Kinda soft next her too. Should I attempt again or wait till she text ?

Now to my LDR, should I still keep her and give her less if my time. I do care about her but she wants me to give all before I can receive anything. I don’t want to hurt her but that is beta thinking. I do lift, 5 to 6 times a week, eat clean, tall 6’, kinda baby face but as expected for Asian guy with great job and good income. I do have high libido though but putting that beside lifting wears me out.

Thank for your help