Some Background:

  • 19 Home from College, going into Junior Year. Live right outside NYC.

  • Lifting about a year now. No problems with that, gaining strength while cutting down for summer, going well. Was a swimmer in high school and did calisthenics freshman year.

  • Used to be pretty socially awkward, but after running a painting business last spring into summer, I developed myself substantially.

  • Haven't made too many college friends as freshman year was devoted to classes and my business, while sophomore year I allowed myself to fall into a deep depression.

  • Never kissed a girl. This was not due to a lack of opportunity, rather me just being a pussy at the time.

This Summer:

  • Im still running my business but super low-key just to make a couple grand, and lifting continuously. This will give me a LOT of free time.

  • Only really have a couple friends from high school, and we'll meet in NYC once in a while but besides that am by myself for the most part. This doesn't really bother me as I am still currently overcoming various things and the personal time is great, but too much and it quickly becomes the opposite.

What I want to do over the Summer:

  • Lifting: Cut down to 175 and then focus on hitting 275x5, 205x5, 365x5, s/b/d lifting. No help needed here.

  • Overcome my massive anxiety about starting to get intimate with a girl. I have a lot more anxiety about kissing a girl versus having sex with one for whatever reason. I understand this will come through practice and repetition, just like anything else, but I'm kinda at a loss from where to start. I've tried Tinder, but I just get girls who agree to go out and meet but stop responding when it comes down to choosing a place. The one girl who I did manage to set a date with stood me up. My pictures definitely aren't the best they could be, but that's not going to change unless I start going out and doing cool shit.

  • Develop/join a cool social group. Just as something to look forward to doing every couple days besides just lifting. Right now the only thing I can really enjoy is going to the gym. I know I can look for some sort of club but besides that no idea how to proceed here.

  • Learn to have fun/ let loose/ go crazy. Never really had this in my life, only in very short bursts every couple years. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Id like to do this preferably without alcohol. I'm not opposed to drinking and having a good time but I'd like to stay away from it for now as it could quickly develop into an addiction. This will come as a result of the previous two goals, but any tips here would be appreciated as well.

To be honest I have no idea what I want to do in life, what my mission is or what I will have to do to keep myself happy. I want this summer to be productive in growing myself in the areas that I think I am currently lacking in and any advice would be greatly appreciated.