It's not really about connecting with people and talking about the most mundane topics, I get it, you have to fake interest. It's not that I'm socially undeveloped. It's not that I'm not fluent in the language (well it is partly that). It's that I can't even string 2,3 sentences together without stumbling on my words. Think of a stutter but in my brain.

It's about my inability to express myself clearly. I first thought it's my social skills and I can't speak the language well and that it can all be learned. Years later my speaking skills haven't budged. My friends noticed if anything, it's deteriorated. Why can't I speak a fucking sentence without screwing up?