Forgive me, I haven't finished reading sidebar stuff completely, but a question came to mind that I figured yall could help me with.

Basically, every long term relationship I've been in (the longest being 2 years) has resulted in the girl gaining a shit ton of weight. For the last one the girl was only 5'2", and even though I really don't mind weight-gain to a certain extent (because I believe we're all human and go through stuff), it ended up with her putting on about 25-30 lbs. On her tiny frame, I dont think she could even SEE her pelvis anymore, and her days off work amounted to spending her entire day on the couch re-watching the Harry Potter films and eating cinnamon rolls. It was pretty sad.

And despite my best efforts to be tactful, nothing works when talking about it to them, and I'm always shamed or demonized as "shallow" or "not loving them for who they are". I don't wanna be shallow, but even though they might be fun or a good time to hang around or I have feelings of "love", I can't seem to explain that I can't get a boner for a 600 pound beluga whale. It puts a damper on the whole relationship...

The worst part is, they want me to spend the day on the couch WITH them, when naturally I'd be at the gym, on a run, on a hike or a bike ride... etc. It's like a weird crabs in a bucket mentality, "if I have to die at 60, you do too!" No amount of compromise is enough to satiate either ("I don't want you at the gym so late", or "we need more us time, I get to choose what we watch!").

Why does every relationship end up this way?